Informal communication- communication is filled with personal meaning, due to those personal relationships that were established between partners
Informal relationships from a scientific point of view is an understudied phenomenon. Often, outwardly, they may not manifest themselves in any way, on the contrary, positive emotions are, as it were, shaded. And there is no need to demonstrate them, since the person with whom there is mutual understanding knows about these relationships, and you, in turn, are confident in him. You are probably familiar with this internal mutual openness, confidence, attunement to each other, carried out without additional efforts. Sometimes you look like a "conspirator", because you understand a loved one by hints and without words. But words are not needed, firstly, because there is no need to explain your thought for a long time, and secondly, to camouflage it with verbal formulas.
Psychologists believe that informal relationships exist based on two levels of psychological intimacy: primary and rational.
Primary level arises already at the first contact (a long acquaintance is not required, it seems that you have known each other for a hundred years). It is characterized by a high spontaneity of emotional perception, unconsciousness and little volitional regulation. This level of intimacy is characterized by lightness, a high degree of trust and understanding, a correct forecast of a partner in a situation and, finally, acceptance of him with all his strengths and weaknesses.
Rational the level is based on understanding the similarity of attitudes, values, norms, and life experience. It arises at a certain stage of relations with a person, is realized and regulated by us.
It is believed that relationships based on common values and interests (rational level) are more stable at work than relationships based on likes and dislikes. If you take a closer look at the informal connections that exist in your team, they will most likely fit into one of five forms of interaction:
"Couple" - two people mutually sympathize with each other. Often one of them is only an addition or "companion" of the other.
"Triangle" - three people sympathize with each other and make up their small, but at the same time very close core of the team.
"Square" - can be formed as a set of pairs, the relationship between which does not necessarily have the same intensity.
A "chain" is a linear connection between several people, which, under certain conditions, can become a source of rumors, a "broken phone".
"Star" - is based on an informal leader, to whom several members of the team are close.
Each of these forms of informal communication arises in one way or another in any work collective with a specific goal, namely, the best adaptation to its internal rules and laws of existence.
Trust communication plays an important role as a factor that determines the relationship between people in almost all social situations and social institutions: in the family, at school, at work, in the clinic, etc.
It is of great importance in shaping the relationship between parents and the child, in marriage, in the understanding of the teacher and the student, the doctor and the patient, the leader and the subordinate.
A high level of trust between members of a group will always have important consequences for its life and functioning; under these conditions there are:
Open exchange of views and opinions on substantive issues;
More correct setting of goals and objectives;
Greater satisfaction from participation in the work of the group and increased cohesion;
Higher activity motivation.
Before proceeding to the consideration of the features of confidential communication, let us dwell on the characteristics of informal communication, since confidentiality is characteristic only of informal communication and is its essential characteristic.
Practical work № 1
Topic: “Formal and informal communication. Male and female communication styles»
Target: consider the differences in formal and informal communication, formulate an idea of the forms and methods of trusting communication, reveal the main differences between male and female communication styles in management”
1 . Functions of formal and informal communication
There are various forms of interpersonal communication: contact and indirect, formal (role-playing, business, functional) and informal. It seems more correct to use the terms "formal / informal communication", in contrast to the designations "official" and "informal", since the official relationship "leader-subordinate" can be carried out both at the formal and at the informal level. Official, or official, communication takes place in the sphere of business, functional-role communication, regulated by the rules of the organization and official etiquette.
Functional (role-playing, business, formal) communication proceeds according to norms and rules. For example, in business communication in the teaching environment, there are norms of office etiquette that do not allow the teacher to address his colleague as "you" in the presence of students.
Informal interpersonal communication is divided into contact and mediated. Contact communication has its own specific features. Unlike mediated communication, contact (direct) communication is characterized by active feedback, enriched with context, communication situation, and is served by a wide range of verbal and non-verbal means, has a playful character and uses reflection mechanisms to a greater extent. Contact communication involves direct communication of individuals and is considered as a certain level of understanding, agreement, degree of psychological closeness.
In general, the transition and mutual enrichment of formal and informal interpersonal communication, the richness of their forms determine the success professional activity, provide a good climate in the team, contribute to good health and the preservation of neuropsychic health.
Functions of informal interpersonal communication (classification by B. F. Lomov):
Organization joint activities;
Getting people to know each other;
Formation and development of interpersonal relationships.
2. Stages of trusting communication, its role
Credulity - it is the constant willingness of a person to believe the word, the promise of another person or group.
Trusting communication plays an important role as a factor that determines the relationship between people in almost all social situations and social institutions: in the family, at school, at work, in the clinic, etc.
It is of great importance in shaping the relationship between parents and the child, in marriage, in the understanding of the teacher and the student, the doctor and the patient, the leader and the subordinate.
A high level of trust between group members will always have important consequences for its life and functioning; under these conditions there are:
- open exchange of views and opinions on substantive issues;
- more correct setting of goals and objectives;
- greater satisfaction from participation in the work of the group and the growth of cohesion;
- higher activity motivation.
The tactical goal of interpersonal confidential communication is the establishment of psychological contact, the optimal psychological distance; the strategic goal is the formation of friendly trusting relationships. Trust communication can be considered as a process that has its own stages and patterns of development.
The first stage - this is the establishment of the first contact and the formation of the image of another person; The goal is to form an adequate first impression. At this stage, the role of social perception, the processes of processing and interpreting the information received is most important; as a result of it, an attitude is formed that largely determines the nature of further interaction.
Contact interpersonal communication is impossible without the process of social perception, during which the image of another person is formed, which acquires an adjusting and regulatory character. This regulation has pronounced age-related features.
At the initial stage of contact interpersonal communication, a harmonious image of a perceived person is formed in the minds of communicating people, in which the elements of physical appearance act as polysemantic and socially meaningful components of individuality with deep personal overtones.
The information that people receive when they perceive the appearance of another person is not always realized by them and depends on many factors. Perceived elements of physical appearance, appearance or expressive behavior function as multi-valued social signals explaining who this person is by nationality, age, experience, what he feels in this moment how he is set up, what is the level of his culture and aesthetic tastes, whether he is sociable, etc. This information plays an important role in determining the characteristics of a partner, his states, intentions, without which it is impossible to understand another person and the success of interaction.
The second stage is the formation of interpersonal relationships; has the following sub-stages, differing in goals and means:
a) reaching agreement, acceptance and separation of positions (cognitive stage);
b) receiving emotional support, approval (stage of emotional support);
c) the desire to achieve acceptance of oneself as a person (stage of self-disclosure, personal stage).
In individual contacts, these substages may have a different sequence, determined by the deep motivation of communication. They are distinguished, first of all, by the intensity of verbal communication, the search for effective ways of psychological influence and the activity of the processes of self-control, self-regulation, self-correction.
The third stage is the stabilization of interpersonal relationships; the goal is to establish optimal psychological contact and efforts to preserve or transform it in the desired direction. As in the first stage, the role and importance of non-verbal means of communication and mechanisms of understanding increase again.
Confidential communication here is multifunctional: it is an end in itself, a means, and a psychological mechanism for the formation of relationships.
Interpersonal informal communication performs important features, which differ in result, but in meaning and in their mechanisms are socio-psychological. Conventionally, they can be designated as follows: actually socio-psychological function - the formation of interpersonal relationships, the establishment and preservation of psychological contact; psychological function - emotional support, satisfaction of the need for recognition and acceptance; psychotherapeutic function- relaxation, restoration and preservation of mental balance.
There are specific difficulties of interpersonal confidential communication at its different stages. In the stage of establishing the first contact, this is shyness. The inability to establish and maintain an optimal psychological distance is characteristic of the last stage - the stage of stabilization of interpersonal relationships.
3. Describe the types of pseudo-trust
There are a number of relationships between people that only superficially resemble trusting relationships. Spectrum pseudo-trust wide enough.
Types of pseudo-trust:
a) Despair. Trust out of desperation is choosing the lesser of two evils; true trust is based on freedom and spontaneity. Therefore, trust under the pressure of circumstances cannot be considered true trust.
b) Conformal trust. It manifests itself in relation to representatives of a certain social status (for example, to a doctor); it is based on the normative belief that certain people should be trusted in specific social situations. However, in this case, we should rather talk about pseudo-trust, since there is no free choice of the object of trust.
in) Naivete. True trust cannot be the result of naivety either. This kind of pseudo-trust occurs when the subject builds his attitude towards the partner without taking into account possible negative consequences interactions. For example, a teacher may show confidence in a student who cleverly deceives him. The main feature of naivety is that there is no foresight of the possible consequences of trusting behavior.
G) Impulsiveness. It is observed in those cases when the subject attaches excessive importance to the consequences of interaction with a person who is only outwardly trustworthy. Such an attitude is filled with inappropriate emotionality, unjustified hopes that all expectations will be fulfilled. The exploitation of this type of gullibility allows clever rogues to play on sympathy and mercy for their own selfish purposes.
e) Blind faith in man. Based on the fatalistic belief that circumstances dictate the course of events and that it is better to follow them than to make a conscious choice.
e) Passion in relationships. In this case, the person stubbornly hopes that there will be a shift towards greater trust, although objectively this should not be expected.
4. Give the concept of psychological closeness, attraction
The most important in understanding confidential communication is the concept of psychological intimacy, which always arises as a result of full psychological contact.
“psychological intimacy is a relationship based on complete trust in each other, mutual understanding; mutual respect, mutual assistance
“intimacy with another person is a commonality of ideas, habits, norms, values, character, mindset.”
Informal communication is all kinds of personal contacts that occur outside of official relations. If expressed plain language, then it implies a conversation between people without restrictions and compliance with the rules. And informal communication most often occurs spontaneously. To make contact with someone, a person does not need to formulate phrases in advance, come up with topics and prepare his thoughts. In this case, everything is much simpler. But from a psychological point of view this topic is of considerable interest. So it's worth exploring it further.
Types of communication
First, I would like to pay attention general concepts. Consider the types and forms of communication, to be more precise. You should start with the most common classification.
There is material communication. We encounter it regularly, because it involves the exchange of products of activity or objects. Cognitive communication is also not rare. It involves the exchange of knowledge and information. And this means not only the contact between the teacher and students, the lecturer and students, the boss and subordinates. If one friend calls another to inquire about the weather in his city before coming to visit, this is also cognitive communication. Let it be informal.
Also, we are all very familiar with conditioning communication. With peers, it is practiced most often. After all, the exchange of emotions and feelings is implied. A vivid example is the situation when a person tries to cheer up his sad friend.
Speaking about the types and forms of communication, it is necessary to single out one more category. It's called motivational. It implies the exchange of goals, desires, interests, motives and interests. It manifests itself both in informal and business communication. Trying to get a friend to go camping is just as motivating as a bonus promised to the employee with the most deals.
The last type of communication in the traditional system is called activity. It consists in the exchange of skills and habits. It is carried out in the process of joint activities and often in a formal setting.
Primary intimacy level
Now we can move on to the main topic. Psychologists believe that informal communication exists on the basis of two levels of intimacy. The initial one is called primary.
It is formed at the first contact. Surely it happened to everyone that after an hour of communication with a new acquaintance, the impression was that he was a good old friend. A long acquaintance is not required for this, a high spontaneity of emotional perception, an unconscious feeling of joy is manifested.
The situation does not lend itself to volitional regulation, since in the vast majority of cases the only thing people want is to continue the conversation. Not surprising, because the primary level is characterized by extraordinary ease, a high degree understanding and trust, frankness. This is the same case when a newly-made friend, an hour after they met, is called a kindred spirit.
Rational level
It is formed after some time has passed since the beginning of communication between people. The rational level is based on the awareness by contacting people of the similarity of norms, values, life experience and attitudes. It is believed that such informal communication is more sustainable.
There are even traditionally distinguished groups that are often found in collectives. They represent a small informal union within one large integral business structure.
Variety of groups
It is customary to single out "couples" - a union of two people who mutually sympathize with each other. Often one of them only complements or accompanies the other.
There are also triangles. As you might have guessed, these are three people who experience mutual sympathy. They adhere to informal communication and form inside business team its own core - small, but tight and cohesive.
Still distinguish "squares". Most often this is a set of pairs. And the relationship between them is not always the same intensity.
Also in the teams there are "chains", which are often the source of gossip, rumors and the well-known "spoiled phone".
The last informal group is called the "star". Its core is a conditional leader who unites all the others.
contradictions
There is an opinion that informal communication observed between members of the work team does not always have a positive effect on labor activity.
Situations in which friendly relations bind the leader and the subordinate cause particular contradictions. Gossip, speculation, envy and suspicion from other colleagues cannot be avoided. All actions of the employee will be considered almost under a microscope. Even a well-deserved praise or award will look like it was received “through pull”. Some people who are not marked by the goodwill of the authorities will be very angry, especially aggressive ones will not hesitate to start plotting.
And it happens that the employee himself, close to the management, begins to show frivolity, relaxation. Professional responsibilities recede into the background. Why focus on work when your buddy is the boss? In the end, everything ends badly. Informal communication and friendship are sharply suppressed. The leader is fed up with such behavior, and he begins to treat a friend not as a comrade, but as a useless irresponsible worker. He, naturally, is offended and loses the desire to communicate further. This is a vivid and frequent example of proof that personal relationships and business relationships should not be confused.
On the example of friendship
Exist different kinds interpersonal relationships. But friendship is best example manifestations of informal communication. It is based on sympathy, common interests and affection, and there is no place in it business style speech.
Dialogue and monologue between friends is light, laid-back. Often they discuss something in their own language, their speech is replete with "private" neologisms. They also know almost everything about each other.
What makes such communication possible? Communication skills that are often not even realized by people. These include the ability to take into account not only your own representative system, but also the interlocutor. It is also important to be able to positively formulate the goals of communication, take into account the interests and values of the opponent, and be flexible in the process of dialogue. It is also necessary to be observant to changes in the emotional state of the interlocutor and tune in to his "wave" when necessary. And the above is only a small part of what the art of communicating with people implies.
Speech style
It is also worth noting. Surely everyone saw how the communication of children proceeds. It is effortless and as simple as possible. Children speak the way they think. Informal dialogue implies the same. This is a real moral rest for the individual. After all, a person can express his thoughts the way he wants, and not as prescribed by the rules. What is called conversational style of speech.
Colloquial and neologisms, jargon, slang, phraseological units, expressively colored or diminutive words, truncation, substantiation - all this and much more can contain dialogue and monologue, sustained in a colloquial style.
Speech "interference"
In general, as one could understand from the foregoing, a person in an informal style of communication is given complete freedom of speech. However, not everyone can use it. Why? Everything is elementary. Many people become so accustomed to communication in business uniform that even being in an informal setting, they continue to talk in an official style.
In principle, there is nothing wrong with this, but it looks, at times, inappropriate. After all, the business style of speech is characterized by compactness and conciseness of presentation, the use of specific terminology, denominative prepositions, complex conjunctions and verbal nouns. But most of all, the lack of emotional speech means and expression attracts attention.
Distance
So, the characteristics of communication styles were given, now I would like to pay attention to the importance of distance. All people are in contact with each other, being at a certain distance. Traditionally, there are four communication zones.
The first is intimate (about 15 cm). Only the closest people usually fall into this zone. Because it can be compared to private intangible property - it is a very personal space. If an unpleasant or alien person tries to penetrate there, then there is a feeling of discomfort.
The second zone is called personal (up to 50 cm). Suitable for both business and informal communication. Approximately half a meter and usually separates friends talking at ease in a bar or cafe at a table. So it is more convenient to see the interlocutor.
The third and fourth zones are called social (up to 1.2 m) and public (over 1.2 m). They are typical for formal communication.
Communication rules: what not to do
This topic is also worth noting. From early childhood, communication with peers teaches us to build a dialogue, cooperate with people around us, and exchange opinions. Over the years, primitive skills are enriched, improved, replenished with new ones. However, there are people who find it very difficult to find a language with others. Sometimes business relationship seem to them simpler than informal, everyday ones. It is they who care about what in the process should be avoided.
If you want to build a positive and productive dialogue, then you do not need to ask personal and vulgar questions. Flattery should also be avoided. A discreet compliment is able to please the interlocutor and set him up for a conversation, but excessive admiration, bordering on fanaticism, will only alert.
Still no need to "twitch". It is important to keep your body under control. And it’s not enough to talk about yourself, interrupt, shout over, lie and invent something, just to develop the conversation. Also, you don’t need to think too long about the answer and look past the interlocutor - you need to learn to deal with embarrassment.
Principles of good dialogue
Continuing the topic of how to communicate correctly, it is worth noting the rules that are the basis of informal relationships.
The most important of them - do not be afraid to show interest in the interlocutor. No idea how to start a conversation? You can just ask the person to be interesting. Let him tell you something about himself. The question can be about anything. Favorite movies, music genre, places to stay in the city. Without bringing the conversation to the topic, you can ask if a person has been anywhere abroad. Yes? Then it will not be superfluous to clarify exactly where and what is interesting there. Not? So, you can clarify whether there is a desire to go somewhere and see something. This theme is very easy to develop.
You can still discuss something topical. Every day, countless events take place in the world. No one forbids highlighting the most significant of them and asking the interlocutor what he thinks of him. Then, in most cases, in the course of the conversation, a few more topics suitable for discussion “pop up”.
Correspondence
it great way improve your art of communicating with people. Today, social networks provide endless opportunities for this. In addition, the written form of informal communication is much simpler than oral.
First, a person has a chance to formulate his thought. He can type it in the window, reread it, correct it. Or delete and write again, in a different way. In other words, a person in in social networks able to learn how to properly build a dialogue.
In addition to the formation of a culture of communication, an emotional “disclosure” of the personality is also carried out. A person who previously did not know how to communicate, who suffered from shyness, indecision and complexes, acquires skills that are necessary for existence in society. The most important thing is to learn how to transfer them to reality later.
Finally
In summary, I would like to say that they are the best example of social interaction between people. In the course of them, the individual uniqueness of each person, peculiar manners, specificity of speech and communication are manifested. It is the informal, everyday, simple atmosphere that allows you to recognize this or that individual as a person with a capital letter. Because in any other forms and types of communication there are rules and boundaries. And only in the informal sphere this is not the case.
Rezvina Evgenia FL-882
Practical work No. 1
Topic: “Formal and informal communication. Male and female communication styles»
Target: consider the differences in formal and informal communication, formulate an idea of the forms and methods of trusting communication, reveal the main differences between male and female communication styles in management”
1 . Functions of formal and informal communication
There are various forms of interpersonal communication: contact and indirect, formal (role-playing, business, functional) and informal. It seems more correct to use the terms "formal / informal communication", in contrast to the designations "official" and "informal", since the official relationship "leader-subordinate" can be carried out both at the formal and at the informal level. Official, or official, communication takes place in the sphere of business, functional-role communication, regulated by the rules of the organization and official etiquette.
Functional (role-playing, business, formal) communication proceeds according to norms and rules. For example, in business communication in a teaching environment, there are norms of office etiquette that do not allow a teacher to address his colleague as "you" in the presence of students.
Informal interpersonal communication is divided into contact and mediated. Contact communication has its own specific features. Unlike mediated communication, contact (direct) communication is characterized by active feedback, enriched with context, communication situation, and is served by a wide range of verbal and non-verbal means, has a playful character and uses reflection mechanisms to a greater extent. Contact communication involves direct communication of individuals and is considered as a certain level of understanding, agreement, degree of psychological closeness.
In general, the mutual transition and mutual enrichment of formal and informal interpersonal communication, the richness of their forms determine the success of professional activity, provide a good climate in the team, and contribute to good health and neuropsychic health.
Functions of informal interpersonal communication (classification by B. F. Lomov):
Organization of joint activities;
Getting people to know each other;
- Formation and development of interpersonal relationships.
2. Stages of trusting communication, its role
Credulity -
Trusting communication plays an important role as a factor that determines the relationship between people in almost all social situations and social institutions: in the family, at school, at work, in the clinic, etc.
It is of great importance in shaping the relationship between parents and the child, in marriage, in the understanding of the teacher and the student, the doctor and the patient, the leader and the subordinate.
A high level of trust between group members will always have important consequences for its life and functioning; under these conditions there are:
open exchange of views and opinions on substantive issues;
more correct setting of goals and objectives;
greater satisfaction from participation in the work of the group and the growth of cohesion;
higher activity motivation.
The tactical goal of interpersonal confidential communication is the establishment of psychological contact, the optimal psychological distance; the strategic goal is the formation of friendly trusting relationships. Trust communication can be considered as a process that has its own stages and patterns of development.
The first stage - this is the establishment of the first contact and the formation of the image of another person; The goal is to form an adequate first impression. At this stage, the role of social perception, the processes of processing and interpreting the information received is most important; as a result of it, an attitude is formed that largely determines the nature of further interaction.
Contact interpersonal communication is impossible without the process of social perception, during which the image of another person is formed, which acquires an adjusting and regulatory character. This regulation has pronounced age-related features.
At the initial stage of contact interpersonal communication, a harmonious image of a perceived person is formed in the minds of communicating people, in which the elements of physical appearance act as polysemantic and socially meaningful components of individuality with deep personal overtones.
The information that people receive when they perceive the appearance of another person is not always realized by them and depends on many factors. Perceived elements of physical appearance, appearance or expressive behavior function as multi-valued social signals explaining who this person is by nationality, age, experience, what he feels at the moment, how he is attuned, what is the level of his culture and aesthetic tastes, whether he is sociable, etc. This information plays a crucial role in determining the characteristics of the partner, his states, intentions, without which it is impossible to understand the other person and the success of the interaction.
The second stage is the formation of interpersonal relationships; has the following sub-stages, differing in goals and means:
a) reaching agreement, acceptance and separation of positions (cognitive stage);
b) receiving emotional support, approval (stage of emotional support);
c) the desire to achieve acceptance of oneself as a person (stage of self-disclosure, personal stage).
In individual contacts, these substages may have a different sequence, determined by the deep motivation of communication. They are distinguished, first of all, by the intensity of verbal communication, the search for effective ways of psychological influence and the activity of the processes of self-control, self-regulation, self-correction.
The third stage is the stabilization of interpersonal relationships; the goal is to establish optimal psychological contact and efforts to preserve or transform it in the desired direction. As in the first stage, the role and importance of non-verbal means of communication and mechanisms of understanding increase again.
Confidential communication here is multifunctional: it is an end in itself, a means, and a psychological mechanism for the formation of relationships.
Interpersonal informal communication performs important functions that differ in result, but in meaning and in their mechanisms are socio-psychological. Conventionally, they can be designated as follows: actually socio-psychological function - the formation of interpersonal relationships, the establishment and preservation of psychological contact; psychological function - emotional support, satisfaction of the need for recognition and acceptance; psychotherapeutic function- relaxation, restoration and preservation of mental balance.
There are specific difficulties of interpersonal confidential communication at its different stages. In the stage of establishing the first contact, this is shyness. The inability to establish and maintain an optimal psychological distance is characteristic of the last stage - the stage of stabilization of interpersonal relationships.
3. Describe the types of pseudo-trust
There are a number of relationships between people that only superficially resemble trusting relationships. Spectrum pseudo-trust wide enough.
Types of pseudo-trust:
a) Despair. Trust out of desperation is choosing the lesser of two evils; true trust is based on freedom and spontaneity. Therefore, trust under the pressure of circumstances cannot be considered true trust.
b) Conformal trust. It manifests itself in relation to representatives of a certain social status (for example, to a doctor); it is based on the normative belief that certain people should be trusted in specific social situations. However, in this case, we should rather talk about pseudo-trust, since there is no free choice of the object of trust.
in) Naivete. True trust cannot be the result of naivety either. This kind of pseudo-trust arises when the subject builds his attitude towards the partner without taking into account the possible negative consequences of the interaction. For example, a teacher may show confidence in a student who cleverly deceives him. The main feature of naivety is that there is no foresight of the possible consequences of trusting behavior.
G) Impulsiveness. It is observed in those cases when the subject attaches excessive importance to the consequences of interaction with a person who is only outwardly trustworthy. Such an attitude is filled with inappropriate emotionality, unjustified hopes that all expectations will be fulfilled. The exploitation of this type of gullibility allows clever rogues to play on sympathy and mercy for their own selfish purposes.
e) Blind faith in man. Based on the fatalistic belief that circumstances dictate the course of events and that it is better to follow them than to make a conscious choice.
e) Passion in relationships. In this case, the person stubbornly hopes that there will be a shift towards greater trust, although objectively this should not be expected.
4. Give the concept of psychological closeness, attraction
The most important in understanding confidential communication is the concept of psychological intimacy, which always arises as a result of full psychological contact.
“psychological intimacy is a relationship based on complete trust in each other, mutual understanding; mutual respect, mutual assistance
“intimacy with another person is a commonality of ideas, habits, norms, values, character, mindset.”
“Psychological intimacy is a hard-to-explain phenomenon. Outwardly, this sometimes looks without excessive affectation, on the contrary, positive emotions are, as it were, obscured, since there is no need to demonstrate them (the object knows about them, you are confident in him and in his attitude towards you, and from those around you, perhaps, these relations are worth a few save). Subjectively, it is some kind of mutual openness to each other, confidence in each other, attunement to each other, to the problems of the other, carried out without additional efforts. Sometimes close people look like conspirators, because they understand each other by hints and without words, they exchange glances, gestures, pauses (there are many non-verbal means of communication). Verbal communication is curtailed, since there is no need, firstly, to explain your thought for a long time, and secondly, to camouflage it with words. Demonstration of close relationships accelerates the break, means their disruption.
The following components of psychological closeness were identified in the judgments:
Understanding(mutual understanding, understanding from a half-word).
Confidence(maximum frankness, free, comfortable, fearless communication).
emotional intimacy(sympathy, joy from communication; empathy and sympathy, a heightened sense of the state of another person).
Adoption(tolerance for individual shortcomings of the other, recognition and acceptance of the other, perception of him as he is, absence of conflicts and the desire to give in, the desire to help).
Unity, proximity of goals, ideals, points of view(coincidence of values).
Relationships with peers are influenced by the degree of closeness between the child and the mother. It was found that psychological closeness of boys with their father leads to the development of sufficient self-control. Closeness with mother has a different impact on the development of the personality of boys and girls. Thus, girls develop confidence in people, endurance in a situation of frustration, self-confidence; in boys - great anxiety, emotional instability, a tendency to constant introspection; they are less frank with friends.
There are two levels of psychological intimacy: one - primary in terms of the time of occurrence - does not require a long acquaintance, mutual verification, is characterized by high spontaneity, unconsciousness; the other is rational, conscious, controlled by the subjects of communication, based on the awareness of the similarity of attitudes, values, norms, and life experience. The primary, or initial, level, which arises already at the first contact, is stable, hardly lends itself to volitional regulation, it is characterized by lightness, non-saturation of informal communication, a high level of trust and understanding, a correct prediction of the partner’s behavior in a given situation, and, finally, acceptance on a sensual basis. level, emotional closeness.
The mechanism of identification underlies the feeling of psychological closeness. The primary level referents should therefore be ease of communication, trust, emotional closeness, and acceptance of the other person. The referent of the secondary level, which arises at a certain stage of relations, is the idea of the similarity of attitudes, views, goals, understanding.
At the heart of the formation of attachments is not only the need of the subject to have close trusting relationships with people. It is also important to understand why it is with this and not another person that we would like to get close, make friends, entrust him with our innermost thoughts and feelings.
A special role in this process is played by the attractiveness and attraction of another person, - called attraction
The term "attraction" means "attractiveness, attractiveness." The phenomenon of attraction occurs during the interaction of people and is a certain characteristic of relationships in a couple.
Attraction is understood as an attraction in the physical sense, which is at the same time a tendency to unite people. This is a multi-valued phenomenon based on feeling, that is, it necessarily includes a certain emotional background. Attraction is an attitude, that is, it belongs to the class of psychological attitudes of a person, and as such it can differ in intensity and degree of personal involvement, interest. In addition, attraction contains evaluation, that is, it is a component of interpersonal cognition. It differs from an extensive class of installations in that it is an installation on a single object, moreover, it is always a different one. human, not a group or social object, social institution, etc.
Attraction is associated with the implementation of interpersonal relationships; the process of attraction-repulsion, sympathy-antipathy logically ends with actions. Attraction is always included in the interpersonal context, it has a normative character, it is based on a specifically cultural “alphabet of feelings”.
5. Describe the types of affection and love
Attachments -
A person's attachments are ambiguous in their psychological content, they are formed in childhood and leave their mark on a person's relationships with loved ones throughout life.
Attachments differ from companionship in a closer emotional distance; and from love - the absence of a sensual sexual component.
Types of attachment are distinguished by the magnitude of the emotional distance and by their strength (the intensity of the need for the object of attachment).
There are five types of attachments - careless, anxious and detached.
People who have developed a tendency to set carefree attachments, it is easier to get into contact and easy to get out of it; they do not experience the anguish of breaking off attachment relationships on their own or someone else's initiative. However, in a stable long-term relationship, they get more satisfaction from sex as lovers.
People with anxious conflicting attachments are jealous and possessive. The desire to single-handedly dispose of their property extends to the partner. They may repeatedly try to break off relationships, testing them for strength and again returning to the object of their affection.
People whose affections are worn withdrawn character, they are afraid of losing their freedom due to excessive, in their opinion, affection. They are more prone to casual sex, which can do without love; they do not like to be told about their love or expect confessions from them.
Attachment dependent type characterized by the fact that all thoughts of a person are occupied with the object of affection. Dependent people are acutely experiencing the absence of a partner, feel unprotected. They can’t decide to break up, even if together it’s bad. They yield to a partner in everything, do not quarrel in case of disagreement. In such relationships there is coercion and direct pressure, there is no affection and sincerity. People experiencing true (mature) affection, they value it, but they will not forcibly hold a partner. They experience joy from the presence of a partner, feel his mood, deeply understand the other, respect his freedom. Relationships are characterized by complete trust. Partners are attached to each other, do not seek adventures on the side, are confident in each other's feelings, often talk about love, feel tenderness.
By intensity and emotional distance, they can be divided into two groups: strong and weak attachments.
Strong, with a short distance, emotionally filled - these are dependent and anxious-Conflicting attachments; weak, with a large emotional distance - careless and distantly closed. In careless attachment, in contrast to detached attachment, the greater emotional distance and the lesser need for the other person are little realized.
As I. S. Kon notes, in historical terms friendship can be assessed as an artificial relationship, similar to twinning and other relatively ritualized relationships that involve mutual obligations (Kon, 1980).
V. A. Losenkov, speaking about the value friendly relations and mutual assistance that holds them together, emphasizes that friendship is a total personal relationship based on mutual sympathy and voluntary choice; by its psychological nature, it is intimate and implies inner closeness, trust and frankness (Losenkov, 1974).
The level of understanding on the part of the mother, father, teacher and other adults was rated lower than on the part of a peer, closest friend. A friend turned out to be the only person from whom they expected higher assessments of their qualities, exceeding their own assessments, that is, friendship performed both an emotional support function and a psychotherapeutic function.
Love is a feeling in which there is passion, devotion, self-sacrifice, a deeper and more sincere human intimacy. Based on ancient literature and philosophy, three main components of a love feeling can be distinguished - intimacy, passion and devotion.
Psychologists distinguish such types of love as disinterested and possessive, optimistic and pessimistic.
Selfless love focused on the well-being of a loved one, does not seek to bind him to herself, gives him the freedom to choose a path in life and companions. It is love that pities and forgives, sympathizes and supports. There is no egocentrism or jealousy in her.
possessive love- this is the same feeling, strong and all-consuming, but in the object of love a person sees, first of all, his property, which he wants to own alone. He is jealous and competes with others for the attention of his beloved, knows better than him what he needs, expects and silently demands compensation for his attention and care. He also seeks to bind to himself with indissoluble bonds, not disdaining even mental violence in the form of constant accusations of ingratitude and the cultivation of guilt, which makes a person even more dependent.
Pessimistic love differs in that a person is looking for confirmation of his attitudes, sexual needs in it; dominated by the fear of loss. In pessimistic love, there is an unconscious expectation of collapse, an attitude that love is a defeat, deprivation of true freedom of choice. Often such love is an ambivalent feeling.
Pessimistic love is filled with suffering and fears. It is to such love that the terms of rivalry, struggle, duel are often applied.
optimistic love relieves anxiety, gives a sense of security. Psychological comfort, the psychological and sexual side of relationships are more perfect in such a marriage, there are no elements of idealization of each other, there is a sober assessment, complete acceptance of a partner, there are no double standards. Partners highly value sex, but are not frustrated about temporary abstinence in the absence of a loved one. Love is a very strong feeling that borders on passion. The results of D. R. Pavlova's research show that different attitudes towards love rest on various grounds in the form of special personal properties, attitudes towards the world and oneself, and are a stable orientation in the world of human relations.
There are gender differences in the manifestations and dynamics of love. Men turned out to be more amorous, they get out of the state of love much longer than women, the physical and playful side of the relationship is also more important for them.
Women are more involved in love relationships, we can say about them that they “soar in the clouds”, they are prone to sublime and romantic feelings, trust in relationships and the ability to take care of a partner are more important for them.
D. A. Lee, K. and S. Hendrik identified three love styles - "passion", "play" and "friendship", various combinations of which form secondary love styles - "colors". The proposed typology of love, empirically tested on two large samples of about one and a half thousand people, is 6 types (Kon, 1988):
Eros - passionate love-hobby;
Modus is a hedonistic love-game that allows for betrayal and is not distinguished by a special depth of feelings;
Strogge - warm and reliable, calm love-friendship;
Pragma - rational love, easily controlled and calculated (synthesis of modus and strictness);
Mania - love-obsession, irrational, uncertain and complete dependence (synthesis of eros and modus);
Agape - selfless love-self-giving (synthesis of eros and strict).
In a long-term love relationship, the attractiveness of a partner is supported by such personal factors as mental health, self-acceptance, and competence. A person who, through his own or someone else's fault, has come to break and break up relations, temporarily loses self-esteem, his self-esteem decreases, and, as a result of this, he becomes unattractive exactly when he needs it most of all. The experience of love and love relationships is necessary condition for high personal development and self-realization.
6. Differences between male and female communication in management
According to the stereotypical view, men are more suitable than women for leadership positions due to their inherent leadership styles. It is believed that men tend to be more directive and autocratic styles, task-oriented, while women gravitate towards the democratic style, which is characterized by participation in the common work.
In selection for leadership positions, a woman is held to a higher standard than a man; here the rule "A woman should be twice as good as a man" applies. Women are more likely to be assigned to middle management roles (due to good social skills), while men are more likely to be given first-level positions.
Stereotypical thinking affects not only the recruitment and selection of women for certain positions, but also promotion and evaluation of performance in the firm. The promotion of a woman through the ranks is slower; in order to occupy the same position as a man, she needs a greater number of movements. With the same skill level as men, women always find themselves lower in the career ladder. Since there are more externals among women, others tend to attribute their success to factors such as luck or diligence, but not to abilities or skills. For men, the opposite is true.
The head of the organization is more inclined to act as a patron and patronize men rather than women, since in the latter case this is always associated with a number of difficulties (suspicions of sexual interest are possible, the risk of undermining one's own professional reputation and slowing down career growth increases). Even when a woman manages to advance to the leadership of the company, men look at her as an outsider. It is difficult for a woman to become part of a man's company. In addition, women, due to their socialization, lack self-confidence, independence, and high self-esteem. As a result, they tend to underestimate their own skills and intelligence, just as others underestimate them.
As a rule, women do not consider themselves capable of fulfilling the functions of senior managers and agree with the notion that achievement and femininity are incompatible. Therefore, out of guilt, anxiety and insecurity, they do not try to reach high positions.
The female leadership style is more flexible, female leaders are more open and sociable, they are rated as warmer in interpersonal relationships at the first contact with subordinates. They tend to share power with others, involve subordinates in common work and maintain their sense of self-worth.
Male leaders are more formal in relations with subordinates and are more concerned with subordination; they are often dismissed from leadership positions due to insufficient receptivity in relations with subordinates. Women leaders are praised for better interaction with staff, they are more sociable, they are better understood due to the clarity of their position. Women in high positions are no more likely than men to quit and re-enter work; this can be explained by the fact that, compared to other women, they attach more importance to their career.
Of course, these are only general trends, behind which are diverse age, social and individual variations.
conclusions
1. So, formal and informal communication differs in the degree of inclusion of interpersonal relations, accounting individual features partner, using methods of psychological influence.
2. Contact informal interpersonal communication has its own specific features. Unlike mediated interpersonal communication, it has an active feedback, enriched with context and subtext, the situation of communication, and is served by a wide range of verbal and non-verbal means of communication, is of a playful nature and includes reflection mechanisms.
3. Interpersonal confidential communication has as its tactical goal the establishment of psychological contact, optimal psychological distance, its strategic goal is the formation of friendly trusting relationships. It can be viewed as a process that has its own stages and patterns of optimal psychological contact.
4. Confidential communication brings psychological relief, improves feedback in the process of self-knowledge and provides psychological rapprochement, deepening relationships.
5. True trust requires mutual and accurate assessments of the subjects of communication regarding their capabilities, intentions, and competence. It is fundamentally different from gullibility and pseudo-trust.
6. Credulity - the constant general expectation of a person that one can believe a word, an oath, spoken or written by a person and a group; often coexists with suspicion, naivety and other forms of pseudo-trust.
7. Trust in communication, understanding the motives of the interlocutor, the subjective ease of communication serve to establish psychological closeness between people.
8. There are two levels of psychological intimacy: one - primary in time of occurrence, unconscious - does not require a long acquaintance, mutual verification, is characterized by high spontaneity; the other is rational, controlled by the subjects of communication, based on the awareness of the similarity of attitudes, values, norms, and life experience.
9. Different attitudes towards friendship and love are based on different personal properties, value and emotional attitudes of a person to the world and to himself and are a stable orientation in the world of human relationships and attachments.
2. Key concepts on this topic and their definitions:
Attraction - means attractiveness.
Love is a feeling in which there is passion, devotion, self-sacrifice, a deeper and more sincere human intimacy.
affections – these are long-term, stable, positively colored relationships, emotionally filled and based on a great need for each other.
credulity - it is the constant willingness of a person to believe the word, the promise of another person or group.
Psychological intimacy- this is a relationship based on complete trust in each other, mutual understanding; mutual respect, mutual assistance
Informal ... cooperative (focus on communication, altruism, extraversion) ... qualifications are held formally, for show ... specifics female style. From the chef male gender...
informal youth associations: graffiti subculture
Abstract >> Sociology... formal", that is, officially defined (registered) organizations. AT informal... age increased need for communication with peers, to ... inscriptions made in style"hip-hop" and ... differences in themes male and women's graffiti with growth...
Women's logic vs. male chauvinism
Scientific work >> SociologyStates she avoids informal communication with subordinates... Male style behavior is understandable and predictable - it is active, intelligent and strong style. Female style ... formal logic is more developed in men, and verbal logic - in women. AT communication ...
Styles leadership of the organization
Coursework >> ManagementTrying to explain the difference between male and feminine behavior in a managerial role ... the consequences of using this style: getting poorer communication, the adaptation of workers is reduced ... style management. Leadership level. Volume formal and informal ...
Practical work No. 1
Topic: “Formal and informal communication. Male and female communication styles»
Target: consider the differences in formal and informal communication, formulate an idea of the forms and methods of trusting communication, reveal the main differences between male and female communication styles in management”
1 . Functions of formal and informal communication
There are various forms of interpersonal communication: contact and indirect, formal (role-playing, business, functional) and informal. It seems more correct to use the terms "formal / informal communication", in contrast to the designations "official" and "informal", since the official relationship "leader-subordinate" can be carried out both at the formal and at the informal level. Official, or official, communication takes place in the sphere of business, functional-role communication, regulated by the rules of the organization and official etiquette.
Functional (role-playing, business, formal) communication proceeds according to norms and rules. For example, in business communication in a teaching environment, there are norms of office etiquette that do not allow a teacher to address his colleague as "you" in the presence of students.
Informal interpersonal communication is divided into contact and mediated. Contact communication has its own specific features. Unlike mediated communication, contact (direct) communication is characterized by active feedback, enriched with context, communication situation, and is served by a wide range of verbal and non-verbal means, has a playful character and uses reflection mechanisms to a greater extent. Contact communication involves direct communication of individuals and is considered as a certain level of understanding, agreement, degree of psychological closeness.
In general, the mutual transition and mutual enrichment of formal and informal interpersonal communication, the richness of their forms determine the success of professional activity, provide a good climate in the team, and contribute to good health and neuropsychic health.
Functions of informal interpersonal communication (classification by B. F. Lomov):
Organization of joint activities;
Getting people to know each other;
Formation and development of interpersonal relationships.
2. Stages of trusting communication, its role
Credulity -
Trusting communication plays an important role as a factor that determines the relationship between people in almost all social situations and social institutions: in the family, at school, at work, in the clinic, etc.
It is of great importance in shaping the relationship between parents and the child, in marriage, in the understanding of the teacher and the student, the doctor and the patient, the leader and the subordinate.
A high level of trust between group members will always have important consequences for its life and functioning; under these conditions there are:
- open exchange of views and opinions on substantive issues;
- more correct setting of goals and objectives;
- greater satisfaction from participation in the work of the group and the growth of cohesion;
- higher activity motivation.
The tactical goal of interpersonal confidential communication is the establishment of psychological contact, the optimal psychological distance; the strategic goal is the formation of friendly trusting relationships. Trust communication can be considered as a process that has its own stages and patterns of development.
The first stage - this is the establishment of the first contact and the formation of the image of another person; The goal is to form an adequate first impression. At this stage, the role of social perception, the processes of processing and interpreting the information received is most important; as a result of it, an attitude is formed that largely determines the nature of further interaction.
Contact interpersonal communication is impossible without the process of social perception, during which the image of another person is formed, which acquires an adjusting and regulatory character. This regulation has pronounced age-related features.
At the initial stage of contact interpersonal communication, a harmonious image of a perceived person is formed in the minds of communicating people, in which the elements of physical appearance act as polysemantic and socially meaningful components of individuality with deep personal overtones.
The information that people receive when they perceive the appearance of another person is not always realized by them and depends on many factors. Perceived elements of physical appearance, appearance or expressive behavior function as multi-valued social signals explaining who this person is by nationality, age, experience, what he feels at the moment, how he is attuned, what is the level of his culture and aesthetic tastes, whether he is sociable, etc. This information plays a crucial role in determining the characteristics of the partner, his states, intentions, without which it is impossible to understand the other person and the success of the interaction.
The second stage is the formation of interpersonal relationships; has the following sub-stages, differing in goals and means:
a) reaching agreement, acceptance and separation of positions (cognitive stage);
b) receiving emotional support, approval (stage of emotional support);
c) the desire to achieve acceptance of oneself as a person (stage of self-disclosure, personal stage).
In individual contacts, these substages may have a different sequence, determined by the deep motivation of communication. They are distinguished, first of all, by the intensity of verbal communication, the search for effective ways of psychological influence and the activity of the processes of self-control, self-regulation, self-correction.
The third stage is the stabilization of interpersonal relationships; the goal is to establish optimal psychological contact and efforts to preserve or transform it in the desired direction. As in the first stage, the role and importance of non-verbal means of communication and mechanisms of understanding increase again.
Confidential communication here is multifunctional: it is an end in itself, a means, and a psychological mechanism for the formation of relationships.
Interpersonal informal communication performs important functions that differ in result, but in meaning and in their mechanisms are socio-psychological. Conventionally, they can be designated as follows: actually socio-psychological function - the formation of interpersonal relationships, the establishment and preservation of psychological contact; psychological function - emotional support, satisfaction of the need for recognition and acceptance; psychotherapeutic function- relaxation, restoration and preservation of mental balance.
There are specific difficulties of interpersonal confidential communication at its different stages. In the stage of establishing the first contact, this is shyness. The inability to establish and maintain an optimal psychological distance is characteristic of the last stage - the stage of stabilization of interpersonal relationships.
3. Describe the types of pseudo-trust
There are a number of relationships between people that only superficially resemble trusting relationships. Spectrum pseudo-trust wide enough.
Types of pseudo-trust:
a) Despair. Trust out of desperation is choosing the lesser of two evils; true trust is based on freedom and spontaneity. Therefore, trust under the pressure of circumstances cannot be considered true trust.
b) Conformal trust. It manifests itself in relation to representatives of a certain social status (for example, to a doctor); it is based on the normative belief that certain people should be trusted in specific social situations. However, in this case, we should rather talk about pseudo-trust, since there is no free choice of the object of trust.
in) Naivete. True trust cannot be the result of naivety either. This kind of pseudo-trust arises when the subject builds his attitude towards the partner without taking into account the possible negative consequences of the interaction. For example, a teacher may show confidence in a student who cleverly deceives him. The main feature of naivety is that there is no foresight of the possible consequences of trusting behavior.
G) Impulsiveness. It is observed in those cases when the subject attaches excessive importance to the consequences of interaction with a person who is only outwardly trustworthy. Such an attitude is filled with inappropriate emotionality, unjustified hopes that all expectations will be fulfilled. The exploitation of this type of gullibility allows clever rogues to play on sympathy and mercy for their own selfish purposes.
e) Blind faith in man. Based on the fatalistic belief that circumstances dictate the course of events and that it is better to follow them than to make a conscious choice.
e) Passion in relationships. In this case, the person stubbornly hopes that there will be a shift towards greater trust, although objectively this should not be expected.
4. Give the concept of psychological closeness, attraction
The most important in understanding confidential communication is the concept of psychological intimacy, which always arises as a result of full psychological contact.
“psychological intimacy is a relationship based on complete trust in each other, mutual understanding; mutual respect, mutual assistance
“intimacy with another person is a commonality of ideas, habits, norms, values, character, mindset.”
“Psychological intimacy is a hard-to-explain phenomenon. Outwardly, this sometimes looks without excessive affectation, on the contrary, positive emotions are, as it were, obscured, since there is no need to demonstrate them (the object knows about them, you are confident in him and in his attitude towards you, and from those around you, perhaps, these relations are worth a few save). Subjectively, it is some kind of mutual openness to each other, confidence in each other, attunement to each other, to the problems of the other, carried out without additional efforts. Sometimes close people look like conspirators, because they understand each other by hints and without words, they exchange glances, gestures, pauses (there are many non-verbal means of communication). Verbal communication is curtailed, since there is no need, firstly, to explain your thought for a long time, and secondly, to camouflage it with words. Demonstration of close relationships accelerates the break, means their disruption.
The following components of psychological closeness were identified in the judgments:
1. Understanding(mutual understanding, understanding from a half-word).
2. Confidence(maximum frankness, free, comfortable, fearless communication).
3. emotional intimacy(sympathy, joy from communication; empathy and sympathy, a heightened sense of the state of another person).
4. Adoption(tolerance for individual shortcomings of the other, recognition and acceptance of the other, perception of him as he is, absence of conflicts and the desire to give in, the desire to help).
5. Unity, proximity of goals, ideals, points of view(coincidence of values).
Relationships with peers are influenced by the degree of closeness between the child and the mother. It was found that psychological closeness of boys with their father leads to the development of sufficient self-control. Closeness with mother has a different impact on the development of the personality of boys and girls. Thus, girls develop confidence in people, endurance in a situation of frustration, self-confidence; in boys - great anxiety, emotional instability, a tendency to constant introspection; they are less frank with friends.
There are two levels of psychological intimacy: one - primary in terms of the time of occurrence - does not require a long acquaintance, mutual verification, is characterized by high spontaneity, unconsciousness; the other is rational, conscious, controlled by the subjects of communication, based on the awareness of the similarity of attitudes, values, norms, and life experience. The primary, or initial, level, which arises already at the first contact, is stable, hardly lends itself to volitional regulation, it is characterized by lightness, non-saturation of informal communication, a high level of trust and understanding, a correct prediction of the partner’s behavior in a given situation, and, finally, acceptance on a sensual basis. level, emotional closeness.
The mechanism of identification underlies the feeling of psychological closeness. The primary level referents should therefore be ease of communication, trust, emotional closeness, and acceptance of the other person. The referent of the secondary level, which arises at a certain stage of relations, is the idea of the similarity of attitudes, views, goals, understanding.
At the heart of the formation of attachments is not only the need of the subject to have close trusting relationships with people. It is also important to understand why it is with this and not another person that we would like to get close, make friends, entrust him with our innermost thoughts and feelings.
A special role in this process is played by the attractiveness and attraction of another person, - called attraction
The term "attraction" means "attractiveness, attractiveness." The phenomenon of attraction occurs during the interaction of people and is a certain characteristic of relationships in a couple.
Attraction is understood as an attraction in the physical sense, which is at the same time a tendency to unite people. This is a multi-valued phenomenon based on feeling, that is, it necessarily includes a certain emotional background. Attraction is an attitude, that is, it belongs to the class of psychological attitudes of a person, and as such it can differ in intensity and degree of personal involvement, interest. In addition, attraction contains evaluation, that is, it is a component of interpersonal cognition. It differs from an extensive class of installations in that it is an installation on a single object, moreover, it is always a different one. human, not a group or social entity, social institution etc.
Attraction is associated with the implementation of interpersonal relationships; the process of attraction-repulsion, sympathy-antipathy logically ends with actions. Attraction is always included in the interpersonal context, it has a normative character, it is based on a specifically cultural “alphabet of feelings”.
Describe the types of affection and love
Attachments -
A person's attachments are ambiguous in their psychological content, they are formed in childhood and leave their mark on a person's relationships with loved ones throughout life.
Attachments differ from companionship in a closer emotional distance; and from love - the absence of a sensual sexual component.
Types of attachment are distinguished by the magnitude of the emotional distance and by their strength (the intensity of the need for the object of attachment).
There are five types of attachments - careless, anxious and detached.
People who have developed a tendency to set carefree attachments, it is easier to get into contact and easy to get out of it; they do not experience the anguish of breaking off attachment relationships on their own or someone else's initiative. However, in a stable long-term relationship, they get more satisfaction from sex as lovers.
People with anxious conflicting attachments are jealous and possessive. The desire to single-handedly dispose of their property extends to the partner. They may repeatedly try to break off relationships, testing them for strength and again returning to the object of their affection.
People whose affections are worn withdrawn character, they are afraid of losing their freedom due to excessive, in their opinion, affection. They are more prone to casual sex, which can do without love; they do not like to be told about their love or expect confessions from them.
Attachment dependent type characterized by the fact that all thoughts of a person are occupied with the object of affection. Dependent people are acutely experiencing the absence of a partner, feel unprotected. They can’t decide to break up, even if together it’s bad. They yield to a partner in everything, do not quarrel in case of disagreement. In such relationships there is coercion and direct pressure, there is no affection and sincerity. People experiencing true (mature) affection, they value it, but they will not forcibly hold a partner. They experience joy from the presence of a partner, feel his mood, deeply understand the other, respect his freedom. Relationships are characterized by complete trust. Partners are attached to each other, do not seek adventures on the side, are confident in each other's feelings, often talk about love, feel tenderness.
By intensity and emotional distance, they can be divided into two groups: strong and weak attachments.
Strong, with a short distance, emotionally filled - these are dependent and anxious-Conflicting attachments; weak, with a large emotional distance - careless and distantly closed. In careless attachment, in contrast to detached attachment, the greater emotional distance and the lesser need for the other person are little realized.
As I. S. Kon notes, in historical terms friendship can be assessed as an artificial relationship, similar to twinning and other relatively ritualized relationships that involve mutual obligations (Kon, 1980).
V. A. Losenkov, speaking about the value of friendly relations and mutual assistance that holds them together, emphasizes that friendship is a total personal relationship based on mutual sympathy and voluntary choice; by its psychological nature, it is intimate and implies inner closeness, trust and frankness (Losenkov, 1974).
The level of understanding on the part of the mother, father, teacher and other adults was rated lower than on the part of a peer, closest friend. A friend turned out to be the only person from whom they expected higher assessments of their qualities, exceeding their own assessments, that is, friendship performed both an emotional support function and a psychotherapeutic function.
Love is a feeling in which there is passion, devotion, self-sacrifice, a deeper and more sincere human intimacy. Based on ancient literature and philosophy, three main components of a love feeling can be distinguished - intimacy, passion and devotion.
Psychologists distinguish such types of love as disinterested and possessive, optimistic and pessimistic.
Selfless love focused on the well-being of a loved one, does not seek to bind him to herself, gives him the freedom to choose a path in life and companions. It is love that pities and forgives, sympathizes and supports. There is no egocentrism or jealousy in her.
possessive love- this is the same feeling, strong and all-consuming, but in the object of love a person sees, first of all, his property, which he wants to own alone. He is jealous and competes with others for the attention of his beloved, knows better than him what he needs, expects and silently demands compensation for his attention and care. He also seeks to bind to himself with indissoluble bonds, not disdaining even mental violence in the form of constant accusations of ingratitude and the cultivation of guilt, which makes a person even more dependent.
Pessimistic love differs in that a person is looking for confirmation of his attitudes, sexual needs in it; dominated by the fear of loss. In pessimistic love, there is an unconscious expectation of collapse, an attitude that love is a defeat, deprivation of true freedom of choice. Often such love is an ambivalent feeling.
Pessimistic love is filled with suffering and fears. It is to such love that the terms of rivalry, struggle, duel are often applied.
optimistic love relieves anxiety, gives a sense of security. Psychological comfort, the psychological and sexual side of relationships are more perfect in such a marriage, there are no elements of idealization of each other, there is a sober assessment, complete acceptance of a partner, there are no double standards. Partners highly value sex, but are not frustrated about temporary abstinence in the absence of a loved one. Love is a very strong feeling that borders on passion. The results of D. R. Pavlova's research show that different attitudes towards love rest on various grounds in the form of special personal properties, attitudes towards the world and oneself, and are a stable orientation in the world of human relations.
There are gender differences in the manifestations and dynamics of love. Men turned out to be more amorous, they get out of the state of love much longer than women, the physical and playful side of the relationship is also more important for them.
Women are more involved in love relationships, we can say about them that they “soar in the clouds”, they are prone to sublime and romantic feelings, trust in relationships and the ability to take care of a partner are more important for them.
D. A. Lee, K. and S. Hendrik identified three love styles - "passion", "play" and "friendship", various combinations of which form secondary love styles - "colors". The proposed typology of love, empirically tested on two large samples of about one and a half thousand people, is 6 types (Kon, 1988):
- Eros - passionate love-hobby;
- Modus is a hedonistic love-game that allows for betrayal and is not distinguished by a special depth of feelings;
- Strogge - warm and reliable, calm love-friendship;
- Pragma - rational love, easily controlled and calculated (synthesis of modus and strictness);
- Mania - love-obsession, irrational, uncertain and complete dependence (synthesis of eros and modus);
- Agape - selfless love-self-giving (synthesis of eros and strict).
In a long-term love relationship, the attractiveness of a partner is supported by such personal factors as mental health, self-acceptance, and competence. A person who, through his own or someone else's fault, has come to break and break up relations, temporarily loses self-esteem, his self-esteem decreases, and, as a result of this, he becomes unattractive exactly when he needs it most of all. The experience of love and love relationships is a prerequisite for high personal development and self-realization.
6. Differences between male and female communication in management
According to the stereotypical view, men are more suitable than women for leadership positions due to their inherent leadership styles. It is believed that men tend to be more directive and autocratic styles, task-oriented, while women gravitate towards the democratic style, which is characterized by participation in the common work.
When selected for leadership position a woman is held to a higher standard than a man; here the rule "A woman should be twice as good as a man" applies. Women are more likely to be assigned to middle management roles (due to good social skills), while men are more likely to be given first-level positions.
Stereotypical thinking affects not only the recruitment and selection of women for certain positions, but also promotion and evaluation of performance in the firm. The promotion of a woman through the ranks is slower; in order to occupy the same position as a man, she needs a greater number of movements. With the same skill level as men, women always find themselves lower in the career ladder. Since there are more externals among women, others tend to attribute their success to factors such as luck or diligence, but not to abilities or skills. For men, the opposite is true.
The head of the organization is more inclined to act as a patron and patronize men rather than women, since in the latter case this is always associated with a number of difficulties (suspicions of sexual interest are possible, the risk of undermining one's own professional reputation and slowing down career growth increases). Even when a woman manages to advance to the leadership of the company, men look at her as an outsider. It is difficult for a woman to become part of a man's company. In addition, women, due to their socialization, lack self-confidence, independence, and high self-esteem. As a result, they tend to underestimate their own skills and intelligence, just as others underestimate them.
As a rule, women do not consider themselves capable of fulfilling the functions of senior managers and agree with the notion that achievement and femininity are incompatible. Therefore, out of guilt, anxiety and insecurity, they do not try to reach high positions.
The female leadership style is more flexible, female leaders are more open and sociable, they are rated as warmer in interpersonal relationships at the first contact with subordinates. They tend to share power with others, involve subordinates in common work and maintain in them a sense of their own importance.
Male leaders are more formal in relations with subordinates and are more concerned with subordination; they are often dismissed from leadership positions due to insufficient receptivity in relations with subordinates. Women leaders are praised for better interaction with staff, they are more sociable, they are better understood due to the clarity of their position. Women in high positions are no more likely than men to quit and re-enter work; this can be explained by the fact that, compared to other women, they attach more importance to their career.
Of course, these are only general trends, behind which are diverse age, social and individual variations.
1. So, formal and informal communication differ in the degree of involvement of interpersonal relations, taking into account the individual characteristics of the partner, and the use of methods of psychological influence.
2. Contact informal interpersonal communication has its own specific features. Unlike mediated interpersonal communication, it has active feedback enriched with context and subtext, the situation of communication, and is served by a wide range of verbal and non-verbal means of communication, is of a playful nature and includes reflection mechanisms.
3. Interpersonal confidential communication has as its tactical goal the establishment of psychological contact, optimal psychological distance, its strategic goal is the formation of friendly trusting relationships. It can be viewed as a process that has its own stages and patterns of optimal psychological contact.
4. Confidential communication brings psychological relief, improves feedback in the process of self-knowledge and provides psychological rapprochement, deepening relationships.
5. True trust requires mutual and accurate assessments of the subjects of communication regarding their capabilities, intentions, and competence. It is fundamentally different from gullibility and pseudo-trust.
6. Credulity - the constant general expectation of a person that one can believe a word, an oath, spoken or written by a person and a group; often coexists with suspicion, naivety and other forms of pseudo-trust.
7. Trust in communication, understanding the motives of the interlocutor, the subjective ease of communication serve to establish psychological closeness between people.
8. There are two levels of psychological intimacy: one - primary in time of occurrence, unconscious - does not require a long acquaintance, mutual verification, is characterized by high spontaneity; the other is rational, controlled by the subjects of communication, based on the awareness of the similarity of attitudes, values, norms, and life experience.
9. Different attitudes towards friendship and love are based on different personal properties, value and emotional attitudes of a person to the world and to himself and are a stable orientation in the world of human relationships and attachments.
2. Key concepts on this topic and their definitions:
Attraction - means attractiveness.
Love is a feeling in which there is passion, devotion, self-sacrifice, a deeper and more sincere human intimacy.
affections – this is a long-term, stable, positively colored relationship, emotionally filled and based on a great need for each other.
credulity - it is the constant willingness of a person to believe the word, the promise of another person or group.
Psychological intimacy- this is a relationship based on complete trust in each other, mutual understanding; mutual respect, mutual assistance
Friendship - relationships between people based on mutual affection, spiritual closeness, common interests.
For beginners: breeding a broiler at home Boiled water for broilers
Only lovers will survive
Features of advertising aimed at children
retouching old photos in photoshop retouching old photos
What is an NPO: decoding, definition of goals, types of activities Does a non-profit organization have the right