To be and not to appear to be Steven. Book of the month: “To be, not to seem. Reflections on True Success by Stephen Covey. life in abundance

23.04.2020

Stephen Covey

Be, not seem to be. Reflections on True Success

STEPHEN COVEY

PRIMARY GREATNESS

THE 12 LEVERS OF SUCCESS

Published with permission from FranklinCovey Company

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by law firm Vegas Lex.

FranklinCovey and the FC logo and trademarks are trademarks of FranklinCovey Co. and their use is by permission.

This book is well complemented by:

Stephen Covey

Igor Mann

Tina Seelig

Adam Grant

Eric Bertrand Larssen

Foreword by Sean Covey

The future of my father, Stephen Covey, was predetermined. My grandfather owned a very successful chain of hotels, and of course, the eldest son - my father - had to continue the business.

But the father felt a craving for teaching. The craving was irresistible—everything in him was crying out to be heard. And he decided to teach, no matter what it cost him. He saw amazing potential in his students, he was consumed by the need to let this potential materialize. But he could not forget what his grandfather wished for him, and decided to talk to him. However, he was afraid that his grandfather would not understand him.

And then one day my father made up his mind and told his grandfather that he really wanted to become a teacher. Grandfather replied: “Fine, son. You will make a great teacher. To be honest, I don’t really like business myself.” So Dr. Covey became a university professor, writer, and in fact one of the world's preeminent thinkers in such areas as leadership, organizational management, family issues. And all because he found the courage to answer his own need and find his own voice.

He helped others to find their voice. One day I asked my father to define leadership. And he replied: “Leadership is the ability to tell another person what his value and his potential are, and to do it so clearly and clearly that a person, having received a charge of inspiration, can see these qualities in himself.” It was the first time I heard such a definition, and it touched me. Why? Yes, because these words spoke a lot about him. He always managed to make me understand what my value is and what my potential is, even when I did not see it in myself. He made me feel powerful, feel like I had an important mission. And he evoked the same feelings in my brothers and sisters and in everyone around him. He believed that every human being has his own destiny, that each of us is infinitely valuable and has extraordinary abilities, and that each of us is unique.

My father was a great teacher – above all, he taught us by example and by his own words. His views have defined my whole life. He constantly told me that there are only two life paths- a life full of true greatness, and a life of false greatness. True greatness is what a person really is: his character, integrity, real motivations and desires. False greatness is popularity, titles, position in society, fame, fortune and honors.

My father taught me not to think about false greatness and focus on true greatness. He also talked about how a false, secondary greatness often—though not always—accompanies those who have achieved true greatness, and that true greatness is already a reward in itself, since it gives peace of mind, a sense of self-worth, and deep, full the meaning of the relationship. This reward far outweighs the benefits of false greatness—money, fame, and that selfish, momentary existence we so often call “success.”

I am writing this foreword three years after my father's death. But his voice - deep, penetrating - is preserved in these essays. Preparing them for printing, we practically did not change anything - the texts remained the same as they had just come out from under his pen. We simply arranged them in such a way that we get a consistent story about how to live a life of true greatness. Some of the essays were written while my father was working on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and it's amazing to see how what he first articulated in those outlines turned into ideas that changed the world of business and the lives of millions of people. In this book, you will find amazing and inspiring reflections on how to move from the cheap tinsel of what is called “success” to a life of meaning, full of peace of mind, satisfaction and wisdom.

How many of us choose to highlight things that don't really mean anything?

How many of us allow our own hidden interests to take precedence over those we are responsible for?

And are we not more cordial and fair towards strangers than towards our closest ones - those people who mean much more to us than strangers?

Are we sacrificing long-term success for immediate success? And do we really value external brilliance, the tinsel of success above peace in the soul and satisfaction with the real benefit that we can bring?

Stephen Covey believed that true greatness is that kind of success that accompanies a person's real contribution. On the contrary, the external signs of success - position in society, popularity, image - are the essence of false greatness. And when you observe the actions and behavior of celebrities, famous athletes, big bosses, movie actors and other such public, you see the glint of false grandeur.

True greatness is inside, it is not evident. True greatness is in the very essence of man. False greatness is external.

The life of many of us is full of problems, disappointments, dissatisfaction. But what is presented as a “solution” is in fact only some superficial means. This same book offers real healing in a world where painkillers rule.

From the introduction by Sean Covey

This book is a collection of some of my father's essays which have never been published in books before and are not as well known as his other works.

But his voice is preserved in these essays - deep, penetrating. Preparing them for printing, we practically did not change anything - they remained as they were, having just come out from under his pen. We simply arranged them in such a way that we get a consistent story about how to live a life of true greatness.

Some of these essays were written while my father was working on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and it's amazing to see how what he first articulated in those sketches turned into ideas that changed the world of business and the lives of many millions. Yet this is not a variant of the Seven Habits.

In this book, you will find amazing and inspiring reflections on how to move from the cheap tinsel of what is called “success” to a life of meaning, full of peace of mind, satisfaction and wisdom.

Who is this book for?

For everyone who wants to be, not to seem.

For fans of the creativity and wisdom of Stephen Covey.

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Life consists of some questions, but I want it to consist of some answers ...

Movie "Garage"

Dear readers, before you is a new book by Anatoly Nekrasov “How to be, not seem. Quiz of life in questions and answers. And as the name implies, it consists of more than just questions.

Those of you who are already familiar with the work of Anatoly Nekrasov have probably noticed that when analyzing the past and present of his respondents, he does not use the doctrine of karma. There is a perfectly logical explanation for this. His philosophical position is based on the analysis of the past, the search for causes and their elimination. In other words, not prevention of consequences, but treatment of causes.

As a matter of fact, psychology has been developing in a similar direction for more than a hundred years, making, however, the main emphasis on the consequences. But in this case, years are needed to eliminate them, and a person is forced to constantly work on himself.

And so the first question from Nekrasov: when to live happily?

Responsibility relieves of resentment and claims, allows you to look for the causes of phenomena or events within yourself, take care of yourself, learn to love and respect yourself, develop qualities lost somewhere in the process of self-development, thus restoring balance and cultivating self-sufficiency.

The main thing is to be honest with yourself. Only with the help of an honest conversation with oneself, so to speak, "heart to heart" certain, once conscious qualities cease to be shameful and despised.

In his new book, Anatoly Nekrasov analyzes the typical problems of family relationships. The author was not afraid to debunk the epigraph postulate of Leo Tolstoy to the immortal work "Anna Karenina" about happy and unhappy families, proving quite convincingly, consistently and with concrete examples that all unhappy families are typically unhappy.

Tolstoy, positioning himself as a man not too happy in marriage, had a good idea of the intricacies of family failures. He saw a happy family as unattainable, bright and even, without nuances. But shades still exist, and in order to see them in this bright light, one must be in it, and for this it is necessary, in fact, to be happy.

Feeling himself, in connection with his idealistic ideas, deeply unhappy, Tolstoy tried to help others, to look for a path to happiness. How is this possible when there is disharmony and discomfort in the soul? And consequently, the respected Lev Nikolaevich was in deep error.

Although, most likely, this is not a delusion at all. It's no secret that each era makes its own adjustments ...

The book offers some directions for self-development. In particular, the exit from the generic space, the appeal to one's own "I". Self love primary only under this condition is love for one's neighbor possible. In addition, having fallen in love with yourself in your mirror, you can hope for reciprocal feelings from others.

The trouble of all people on the planet is the fear of being natural. Meanwhile, you need "to be", but not "appear" I However, established stereotypes make it difficult to comprehend this, although the facts, it would seem, are obvious.

Whether you agree with these positions is up to you, dear readers!

From the publisher

Find your mirror
To all the women of the world with love

Dedicated to women who tried on alcohol, drugs, obesity, loneliness, lack of demand and illness, like clothes that were forced to wear

You never thought that the word "addiction" is very accurate to the point. It's not about dependence on something, but first on someone.

I am a product of my era, in which, unfortunately, leadership in many areas of life belonged and belongs to men. At the same time, paradoxically, on the one hand, the feminization of a woman, and on the other, her complete oppression.

I've been through enough long haul to myself and I suggest you go through it. If you are interested in something in my story - a word, a phrase, even the air around - it is just for you.

My name is Irina, and I do not hide my name. In translation, it means "World", in the sense of a planetary scale. Although I do not pretend to the whole world, but I want to give women, girls, girls the path of freedom!

Have you ever wondered why there are so many unhappy women and men? Unhappy marriages? Find happy woman immeasurably more difficult. Among my acquaintances, in any case, I do not know such.

Moreover, almost all of my girlfriends either went through a divorce or never got married. True, there are exceptions, but not among close friends.

How was this story written? To be honest, I didn’t seem to write it at all, it was written by itself. I just wrote down for a week all the thoughts that haunted me for a long time. About a year ago, I filed for divorce, I must say, under pressure from my mother, although at my suggestion. But something did not add up in my picture, as if there were not enough elements in the mosaic. And on the same day I came across the book by Anatoly Nekrasov “Marriage is dead. Long live the family!" Since then I have read all of his books. And many more others. I took the divorce papers. However, she filed again, but quite consciously. All for me last years the question haunted me: why did alcohol appear in my life at all? Valery Sinelnikov says that you need to thank your body for every reaction, especially if you feel bad. This is evidence that life is giving you a sign that something is wrong in your reality. I have, it can be said, in general, a physical intolerance to alcohol. I'm after e-mail asked Anatoly Nekrasov for a personal consultation, to which she received an answer that the whole thing was in the interrupted generic female energy.

Immediately make a reservation, I do not agree with the statement that everything depends on the woman. Women, remember, when you are told that everything depends on you, it means that you, and only you, must take responsibility for yourself and for men. Do you want this? I studied a lot of books, by the way, almost all of them are written by men. They are not without truth.

In order to understand the reasons for the failures in my life, I had to analyze my life path. I think there are many women like me, we are all children of the same time and everyone has similar problems. In addition, my story is connected with the closest people - my mother and husband. This story is indicative for many women, since the theme of love, trust and family is always relevant.

However, closer to the topic. I've been told that I turn into an alcoholic from time to time. I almost unconditionally believed in it and began to be afraid of alcohol as fire. Ask who is the seer and how did it happen? Do not believe it, the closest and dearest people. Why am I writing about this? I want to warn you against the delusions that people have suggested to you. They pursue their own, often selfish goals, they want something from you. What? An amazingly interesting question. Anatoly Nekrasov writes that it is simply love. I completely agree with him. Only, perhaps, I have a feminine view of things. Now imagine you have to give love that you don't have in sight. Well, how not. There is, of course, but modified. Love has long become a duty for you. Here, you must, and that's it. Ask - to whom? Yes to everyone. Of course, women have an excess of love, only it is directed at anyone, but not at themselves, their beloved.

My life was occupied by my husband and mother, the closest people to me. Do you think they are to blame? In no case. Imagine that my fault here is not one iota. But imagining something like that was out of the question.

When did I start on the bottle and how long did it take? Exactly as much as they wanted from me. How?

So, my dears, listen carefully, especially girls brought up on guilt and shame. How long have we been told what is good and what is bad. What can be done, what can not. And if you do something not according to the scheme, put out the light. You just have to be like everyone else, otherwise it cannot be. You owe everything, so you must listen to advice and act like people. True, I would like to know, but all people are like? You cannot have your own opinion if it does not coincide with the opinion of the majority. More or less nothing until children appear, here the material dependence is directly proportional to the spiritual one. It is clear that there is nothing more precious than a small child. To inspire, various means are used: “You pay little attention to me. I need your advice." And off we go: “I give you everything, and you” ... An interesting situation: I, a woman with higher education(this is not an indicator), with a lot of advantages, I turn into a pile of garbage. And what should I do with this garbage? Clear business - to take out, differently this garbage eats you up. Alcohol, like excess food, “washes away negative information”, absorbs it. Our body is perfect, and the world needs you, and it gives you the opportunity to stay alive and not break under the weight of claims heaped on you. Ask why we take all claims on ourselves? More on this later.

It is impossible to accept the soul of the information that you have been inspired. This is death for you. The body is looking for a way out. But I'm so good. I have to help everyone. But how? Thus, information is layered, then guilt, shame (but what about the children?), And everyone was so worried. Rave! No one was worried about anyone all this time. Many people experience discomfort in life, their energy is weakened, but they, guessing the moment, take energy from you exactly when you begin to “suffer”. Close people are no exception. The more you listen to others, the more emotions you throw out, the more they get. This is how the world works, it's neither good nor bad. Everything is clear and connected. Especially if the main criterion in your life and the lives of your loved ones is public opinion, you are doomed to failure.

So, I knew and was sure that I deserved all the best, so during the year I studied an incredible amount of literature, bit by bit collecting and analyzing all my experience, applying it to the information received. No wonder they say: you are destroyed by someone else's experience, until your own crushes you with a skating rink and makes it clear that this is already your path and experience, and you are free. Everything seems trivially simple. Man is an energy being, therefore, he lives not only by reason, but also by energy. Everything in the world is interconnected. The most wonderful works of art are created by energy, which is why they are breathtaking. All energy connections in the Universe are built on the principle of opposites, this is clear even to mathematicians. The most basic energies in man are Yin and Yang, male and female. If they are not harmonious, life is destroyed. If from generation to generation there was an imbalance of energies among the ancestors, then the next generation has to clear up the debris of their ancestors. This is the snowball. This is how the world works, whether we like it or not. For without opposing energies there is no continuation of life. Day and night, sun and moon, man and woman. This is a whole ocean of energy, in the presence of harmony. But nature does not forgive violations of harmony and tries to restore it by all means. She always follows the path of least energy consumption. Any incident with you, any illness, injury is aimed primarily at ensuring that you pay attention to your capabilities and bring your life into harmony.

The whole world rests on energy connections, man himself is energy. According to a certain model of building the world, your energies are collected into larger formations (egregors), or pendulums. There are many examples of such pendulums: religions, public organizations, criminal groups, spheres of government, etc. We all know the psychology of the crowd, it can create seemingly unimaginable things.

An individual person can also be a pendulum, create and accumulate energy potential. For example, politicians, businessmen, popular people, financial oligarchs, etc. To support the life of many energy formations, the concept of “public opinion” was introduced, which is designed to ensure a constant flow of energy. A person becomes addicted, like a victim of a rapist, but gets used to it, and it already seems to him that he cannot do otherwise. My story is about the influence of the notorious public opinion on a person's life.

Throughout the former USSR, there were no women and men. There was a comrade, a colleague, a friend, a person. For several generations, the situation worsened. Everyone worked for the good of the country. But not on your own. And what are you to him with your energy, only he needs it. But the age of Aquarius has come, which has brought energy changes. You can't get away from them, no matter how hard you try. The world today shows that perfection is in man himself, each of us is a creator, not a slave. I had to go through the genealogy to identify gaps in the manifestation of female and male energies in my family.

I believe that each person (soul) has his own tasks on Earth, his own reason for being here. This opportunity is so unique for each soul that life simply does not allow it to stray from the intended path. Knocking down her plan, she brings disharmony into the world and interferes with others. I dare to suggest that my coming to the planet is to become a happy woman. Only a true woman can give light to her children, men, other women. I came to the family not by chance with a downed female line. Surely she chose the shortest path in order to enlighten not only herself, but also, if possible, others.

In the family on my mother's side, all women pulled everything, including men. My maternal grandmother was raised by her stepmother. There is a lack of affection, tenderness, which characterizes a woman. What could she give my mother? She didn't know how to express love. My mother still does not turn her tongue, and she does not understand how this mother can be objected to. So, the pendulum (egregor) is launched, it can be manipulated. Debt to the country, collective farm, people, etc. "But what about me?" the soul screams. Well, you just have to. Everyone in turn. Children, husbands, people, work, other countries to the Red Cross. My mother in the family took male functions. Grandfather was the chairman of the collective farm, they say, cruel, he died early, my grandmother sent her father to be raised in a boarding school. The lack of mother, father, all together attracted my compassionate mother. She became his mother. They failed to develop as a man and a woman. This heavy heredity passed to me and my brother. I must say right away that my brother drinks heavily, but is very kind to others to the detriment of himself. My mother is a very good and kind woman, she just lived in difficult times. She made her way from the collective farm to the teacher herself. Throughout her life, there has been uncertainty and some fear in her. I lived with the same complex for many years, and I, as if asking: is it okay that I also live?

You know, my mother is very afraid for the children. For some reason, she is sure that we ourselves simply cannot live well, we need to patronize. My brother is used to it and cannot live without his mother. dual situation. My mother was very offended by my father for having lived all her life without support. I don't know if she forgave him. He was just the way he was. Could not be different, as, indeed, and my husband. We must remember only the best in a person, and let the rest go. Perhaps it was they who came to us so that we could understand ourselves. How do we know the true purpose of men in our lives? For example, I am grateful to my husband, he taught me a lot, gave life to my children, this is already a lot. And the fact that it did not live up to my expectations is not his fault. I didn't know myself, I didn't see it. Perhaps my brother is implementing a mother's program with her worst expectations? Perhaps yours?

But there is one point here that I cannot fail to mention. Caring for others, in a way, justifies a mom's life. It seems that I do not live in vain, I need more. Such is the distortion and dislike for oneself. I remember the film "Bury Me Behind the Plinth", based on the autobiographical novel by Pavel Sanaev. Such an imposition of self-importance and the development of diseases in the daughter and grandson for the sake of their own uncomplicated fate.

So, I grew up in a poor family with an alcoholic father. My mother is very good man. She worked as a teacher, alone pulled the house and family. It was so strongly imprinted in me to listen to the elders, it didn’t even occur to me that it could be otherwise. Public opinion the best for my mom important indicator correctness of life. I was so accustomed to rely on him that I could not even eat ice cream on the street. I graduated from high school with a gold medal, entered the university, and got pregnant in my second year. It was completely unclear to me how I would live on. There was not enough money, and the best way out of this situation for me was marriage.

About my husband. A person completely unadapted to life, like me, at that time seemed to me the best and most loving. Now, from the position of today's experience, I understand that I was the best way out for him. In principle, he didn’t care who would take responsibility for him, he chose the option of his own significance. Mom is the director of the school, I am a smart beauty, against this background he seemed handsome to himself. Figured out how to manipulate me. By the principle: you are poor, you have not given me anything. We, like fools (my mother and I), went out of our way to somehow justify ourselves. Brought up on the purity of thoughts and conscience, they could not understand that this was pure calculation. Such people are called manipulators. He was proud of how well everything turned out.

How did I attract this person? I have already said before: in my life I needed to restore the interrupted feminine principles. And to him - a de-energized male energy. That's life and pushed us foreheads. Everything could work out. It's not good or bad, it's just the way it is. Obviously, I attributed to him qualities that he did not originally have. I grew up in a family where my mother was always guilty. She is from an orphanage. His mother's first husband died. She stayed with her daughter in her arms. Her first child, a son, also died. Then a man appeared who married with such a load. In this marriage, two daughters and a long-awaited son were born - my husband. Sickly in childhood, well-groomed by the elder sister on the mother's side. After giving birth, the mother began mastitis, the father at that time went to the left. It is clear that he simply could not respect his wife as a woman, he beat. It got to the point that the children themselves went to their mistresses, asked for their father. Yes, and that's not all. His father is a criminal. It all started with the robbery of wagons with food and soap. Then several more walkers were sentenced to capital punishment for aggravated murder, but took over the group. He was taken out by crime. This is what my husband came to me with. Needless to say, how many problems we, the descendants, had to solve. The husband needed not only to restore the male energy, but also to deal with the criminal energy of his father. Now I think it is clear why people are afraid to take children from the orphanage. Education in this case will not play a decisive role, children must solve their problems. It is good if adults, understanding this, will help them. Often the opposite is true.

As a child, my mother cared, nurtured, did not refuse anything to her son, my husband. She lived only for the children, she denied herself everything (like my mother), which later affected the lives of the sisters. All of them denied themselves food, femininity, lived for children. As a result, both of the three sisters of her husband had severe oncology. Life gave a sign: pay attention to yourself or die. His father died when he was about six years old. The husband's mother died of severe cancer during his military service. He returned from the army to an empty house. The sisters have families of their own. Where to go? He needed his mother so much. But if you look more closely, you can see that our interests coincided. I solved my problem through him. Passed from mother to husband, so to speak. Thus, two mentally immature people began to build a family. I was eighteen, he was twenty-one. My daughter opposes early marriages. And she's right. However, it can work out if we go through difficulties together without reproaching each other.

As it turned out, the husband was not ready to independently choose decisions and provide for the family. Here life has set a condition: become adults, and that's it. The girl was born with a hemangioma in the face, and she progressed. This is a vascular tumor. Our doctors could not determine, they said, it would grow up, it would pass. This is where I grew up. She took over everything. In the end, I got to the clinic of maxillofacial surgery in the regional center. They helped me there, the tumor was stopped. From one month to a year, every month I took the child to the clinic. Needless to say, I, for example, could not think of anything else but her. We won. There was a scar near the sponge. I think, too, for a reason, life told her. You have to believe in yourself.

The husband began to leave to work, everything seemed to be getting better. The main mistake of all women is the desire to build a strong family at all costs. Whatever it takes. You swing the pendulum in the opposite direction. If life presents you with too much expense, run from it like a fire. Everything should happen easily and without special efforts. The house was purchased furniture, things. He loved me then, or so he said. He became a caring husband and father. Somewhere for the look, and somewhere in the soul. But rather for its own significance. The family served him as a cover from his own life. I so diligently created an image for him that everyone believed, and above all, he himself. His sister also believed and made a mistake. She began to think that I was unworthy of him. I take bad care of him, I take all the money, etc. He began to listen, reproaches began. Only my sister did not think that he worked five months out of seven. And I - all the time and make good money for a woman. And everything in the house is made by my hands. Everything suited him. He practically did not live in the family. Here, after all, the image is arranged. What about another life? On the one hand, a simple hard worker, but with ambition ... Have you met drawn men? They draw themselves, but there is no intention to put the conversations into practice. And he is from this opera. Drawer, storyteller, dreamer. There is only one meaning - a person without intention. But you know, I also tried to teach him, brought him up, he called it brainwashing. She was young, she did not understand: this does not give anything, but only humiliates a person. So there was also disrespect on my part. You can't change a person - either you accept it or you don't.

Anatoly Nekrasov

How to be, not seem. Quiz of life in questions and answers

Foreword

Life consists of some questions, but I want it to consist of some answers ...

Movie "Garage"

Dear readers, before you is a new book by Anatoly Nekrasov “How to be, not seem. Quiz of life in questions and answers. And as the name implies, it consists of more than just questions.

And so the first question from Nekrasov: when to live happily?

Whether you agree with these positions is up to you, dear readers!

From the publisher

Find your mirror To all the women of the world with love

Dedicated to women who tried on alcohol, drugs, obesity, loneliness, lack of demand and illness, like clothes that were forced to wear

You never thought that the word "addiction" is very accurate to the point. It's not about dependence on something, but first on someone.

I have come a long way to myself and I invite you to go through it. If you are interested in something in my story - a word, a phrase, even the air around - it is just for you.

Have you ever wondered why there are so many unhappy women and men? Unhappy marriages? Finding a happy woman is incomparably more difficult. Among my acquaintances, in any case, I do not know such.

Moreover, almost all of my girlfriends either went through a divorce or never got married. True, there are exceptions, but not among close friends.

How was this story written? To be honest, I didn’t seem to write it at all, it was written by itself. I just wrote down for a week all the thoughts that haunted me for a long time. About a year ago, I filed for divorce, I must say, under pressure from my mother, although at my suggestion. But something did not add up in my picture, as if there were not enough elements in the mosaic. And on the same day I came across the book by Anatoly Nekrasov “Marriage is dead. Long live the family!" Since then I have read all of his books. And many more others. I took the divorce papers. However, she filed again, but quite consciously. All the last years I have been haunted by the question: why did alcohol appear in my life at all? Valery Sinelnikov says that you need to thank your body for every reaction, especially if you feel bad. This is evidence that life is giving you a sign that something is wrong in your reality. I have, it can be said, in general, a physical intolerance to alcohol. I contacted Anatoly Nekrasov for a personal consultation by e-mail, to which I received an answer that the whole thing was in the interrupted generic female energy.

This book is a collection of selected essays in which the distinguished business expert Stephen Covey outlined the twelve fundamental principles of great success. True success in life, Covey teaches, comes to those whose lives are filled with true greatness—those who are guided by fundamental principles regardless of material reward and circumstances. In this book, he tells what these principles are, how to learn them and make them truly yours, how to begin to highlight the true important tasks to achieve outstanding results and at the same time live in harmony with yourself.

Stephen Covey

Be, not seem to be. Reflections on True Success

Foreword by Sean Covey

The future of my father, Stephen Covey, was predetermined. My grandfather owned a very successful chain of hotels, and of course, the eldest son - my father - had to continue the business.

And then one day my father made up his mind and told his grandfather that he really wanted to become a teacher. Grandfather replied: “Fine, son. You will make a great teacher. To be honest, I don’t really like business myself.” So Dr. Covey became a university professor, writer, and in fact - one of the world's foremost thinkers in such areas as leadership, organizational management, and family issues. And all because he found the courage to answer his own need and find his own voice.

My father was a great teacher – above all, he taught us by example and by his own words. His views have defined my whole life. He constantly told me that there are only two paths in life - a life of true greatness and a life of false greatness. True greatness is what a person really is: his character, integrity, real motivations and desires. False greatness is popularity, titles, position in society, fame, fortune and honors.

The life of many of us is full of problems, disappointments, dissatisfaction. But what is often presented as a “solution” to a problem is actually only a superficial remedy. This book offers real healing in a world where aspirin and Band-Aids rule.

I have had to deal with the painful trials of life, and I own experience I became convinced that what my father taught me - and these are the principles that the book talks about - gave me and my family the courage and confidence to move forward, work and be happy. These principles will help you too.

Foreword

When the Titanic set off on its first - and last - voyage, there were 614 sun loungers on its decks. Every morning, the team laid out these sun loungers and arranged them in such a way that passengers would want to dive into them, soak up the decks. Passengers were free to rearrange the sun loungers in accordance with their desires.

It is clear that when the Titanic began to sink, it never occurred to anyone to "arrange the sun loungers in accordance with their desires."

Now, when we talk about someone "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic," we mean doing meaningless and trivial things instead of doing something important, something life-changing. Because this is the last thing in life - to rearrange deck chairs on a sinking ship. The last one is literally.