How to make a good first impression. You Never Get a Second Opportunity to Make a First Impression - First Impression Rules How to Make a Bad Impression

Believe it or not, it only takes you a tenth of a second to make a first impression. In the blink of an eye, we make judgments about the likability, attractiveness, competence, and even reliability of a person without knowing their name. As long as you're brushing your teeth, picking out an outfit, and keeping these great tips in mind, you'll be dazzling everyone you meet!

Tidy up your online accounts

In the age of the internet, first impressions often start with researching Instagram and other pages. in social networks. Researchers from the University of Ghent found that job candidates with the most attractive Facebook or other social network profile photo are more likely to be invited for an interview than a person with a silly or funny photo.

Connecting with... food

People tend to love those who feed them. Researchers at Yale University found that when you offer someone delicious food, you evoke positive emotions in them. Never forget folk wisdom: A person's stomach is the way to his heart.

Prepare facts and questions

While you should always be yourself, it's important to remember that you should always be prepared. If you're meeting with a potential new boss, make sure you have a few talking points about your industry. If you're dating your boyfriend's parents, come up with a few questions to help you appear interesting.

Use Names

We don't have much information when we meet someone for the first time, but one thing we do know is that person's name. So use it! People love their own names, so using them in a conversation will add a sense of closeness.

Don't be boring

When you meet someone for the first time, make a conscious effort: don't check your phone, don't be boring. There is nothing more enticing than a fully present listener.

Imagine that the person loves you before you meet him.

If you expect someone to like you, then you really do! Therefore, you must radiate confidence. A Belgian study found that subjects who expected to be accepted behaved more warmly and, in turn, were more well received.

Do a smell test

You can choose your outfit days in advance, print out dozens of flawless resumes, and even get your hair done, but if you eat some garlic before your incredibly important job interview, you might as well kiss that job goodbye. Why? A study of 65 volunteers found that the smell of onion was more associated with uncleanliness, while the smell of lemon was associated with cleanliness and pleasant sensations.

And pick up the floral scent

Just as a potential leader will not soon forget the smell of onions in the air, so the sweet aroma of a floral perfume will be clearly remembered by him.

Focus on the hobbies of a new acquaintance

One of the best ways to make sure someone remembers you is to talk about a topic that both of you are passionate about. The key to a positive first impression is discussing a topic that you and the other person care about.

Wear yellow

People usually prefer to wear something simple to an interview, perhaps something like a white skirt or gray trousers. But for your next job interview, you might want to try adding some color: The researchers surveyed hundreds of adults and found that yellow was chosen as the color most likely to grab attention.

Talk about your interlocutor, not about you

Not only narcissists like to talk about themselves. Scientists at Harvard University have found that when we talk about ourselves, we trigger the same pleasure in the brain that we get from food or money.

Don't Complain

Save gossip and swear words for your best friend. Numerous studies show that when we complain about someone, the person to whom we complain unconsciously connects us with negative characteristics that we are describing. Conversely, pointing to positive characteristics other people, you will look in a good light.

Maintain eye contact

Sometimes it's not so much what we say, but how we say it, especially when we're getting to know someone. One study found that when participants made eye contact during a video call, they were more likely to remember what they were talking about.

Meeting at a coffee shop

Looking for a place for a first date? Psychologists recommend meeting and drinking a cup of coffee. The smell of this drink improves mood and allows you to make friends faster.

In a bad mood? Refuse to meet

If you are in a bad mood, before meeting someone for the first time, try to improve your mood or refuse to meet at all. The fact is that if you are in a depressed or anxious mood, others will pick up this condition.

Refusal of makeup

Ladies, be more natural when you meet a big client for the first time. Why? Studies show that women are perceived as leaders when they are not wearing makeup!

In full growth

Let your posture do the talking. The posture in which you open your body to take up more space makes you more confident and authoritative - both to yourself and to those around you.

Learn from the Parrot: Repeat

You don't have to repeat everything you hear word for word (because it can drive anyone crazy), but there is science that suggests that using the same words someone else has said in a conversation can increase the likelihood that you he will like it.

Allow yourself strong expressions

Disclosure: Before you start cursing at an important interview, be sure to read the situation and the person who is interviewing you. As a rule, such behavior really lightens the mood. Various studies have shown that people who swear make a positive impression. They are perceived as honest, reliable and persuasive.

Come early

This is common knowledge, but to reiterate: never be late when meeting someone for the first time. In fact, try to get there a few minutes early to show you're interested.

Provide information that the interlocutor can grasp

When you introduce yourself, add interesting fact- for example, where you are from or where you studied.

Accessories

Accessories are a great way to start a conversation and show off your personality and sense of style.

Don't over tighten

Don't let the conversation drag on with your new friend, or you risk tiring them out. Dragging out a conversation can quickly turn a good impression into a bad one.

Don't make yourself joke

Humor - great way breaking the ice by starting a conversation with someone new, but turning into a joke a situation that is not funny is not worth it - it will end in disaster: your acquaintance will be ruined.

Find a hobby

People with passions and hobbies appear to be more interesting and motivated, so mentioning your passions when meeting someone new is a great way to keep them interested.

Remember the basic

Last but not least, don't forget the tried and true advice people have been giving over the years. Start the conversation with a firm handshake and a smile, dress to impress, and try to meet face to face rather than on the phone.

Sometimes, it seems to us that it is very difficult to make a good impression on a person. But it is not so. We will share with you tips on how to do it.

Many people assume that first impressions are usually wrong. Yes, it happens that at the first meeting it seems to us that a person is not very interesting or slightly arrogant, but then the realization comes that he is a very kind, sympathetic and extremely entertaining interlocutor. Why does it come out like this? Often, this is due to the fact that a person simply does not know how to behave correctly at the first meeting, and there are reasons for this. Someone is too shy, someone is nervous, and someone just had a bad day. Be that as it may, we will give you 9 tips that will help you avoid this situation and immediately make a good impression when meeting new people.

1. Talk about something good

2. Be friendly

It happens that before meeting a person, they described him in all “colors”, along with a bunch of his shortcomings and a not very good past. In a conversation, you should not get hung up only on this, having made conclusions about the interlocutor in advance. If you are deliberately unfriendly, the person will immediately feel it, which will make the conversation tense and uncomfortable. Moreover, a person will create a bad impression about you, and not by hearsay, not from other people, but directly from you.

3. Don't mention the names of people you know

It often happens that you and your interlocutor somehow end up with a whole bunch of mutual acquaintances. It's best not to call your relatives or friends by their first names when you first meet, whether it's a business meeting or a casual conversation. A person can draw false conclusions about you, judging by your acquaintances, and sometimes this situation can be extremely unpleasant. Many people believe that people attract their own kind, so all the bad antics of your friends or relatives can be immediately attributed to you.

4. Don't talk about your plans

At the first meeting, you should not share with your interlocutor about your dreams, desires and plans for the future. Even if you have succeeded in almost everything, for example, create your own business, go to live abroad, build a house - do not dedicate a person to this at the first meeting. You can, quite simply, be considered an arrogant and boastful interlocutor.

5. Omit serious topics

At the first meeting, conversations on narrow topics are best omitted. For example, you should not raise a conversation about politics, war, interracial conflicts. Also, there is no need to move on to discussing people, condemning them behind their backs. You cannot know what past your interlocutor has. Therefore, such topics are best left for the future. In our world, tolerance and loyalty are highly valued, so show yourself to be just such a person.

6. Keep emotions under control

Even if your interlocutor is unpleasant to you, you are angry or offended by someone - never transfer your emotions to a conversation. Try to control your behavior, and not seem rude and impolite. Whatever mood you are in, no matter how you like the interlocutor, be educated, polite, and never give in to negative emotions.

7. Don't brag

Maybe in life you have succeeded more than your interlocutor, however, you should never show off. Even if you have achieved more in your career, you have a prosperous family, a dog, a house, a car and a lot of money, you should not mention this, and even 15 times. Believe me, there is no need to show yourself as a braggart at the first meeting and underestimate the self-esteem of the interlocutor with your achievements.

8. Don't ask for anything

In no case should you ask a person for something at the first meeting. Do not put pressure on pity, do not blame anyone for your troubles and misfortunes, and even more so, do not cry at the first meeting with a person. Whatever troubles occur in your life, you should not dedicate your interlocutor to them.

9. Ask questions

Of course, talking about yourself is always very exciting, but do not forget about your interlocutor. Show your interest in him, be interested in his life, hobbies. Try to ask him more questions, but not too personal, so as not to accidentally hurt his feelings.

Whoever says what, do not try to remember all the names of the interlocutors. It is much more important to listen to a person, not to interrupt and not “turn off” during a conversation for something extraneous. Keep in mind not the names of people, but a good impression of them.

It is not so difficult to create a great impression about yourself at the first meeting, if you just simply be yourself, control your emotions, be polite and not close yourself in a shell, being afraid to stick your head out. Keep a casual conversation, smile, joke and just enjoy the conversation with the interlocutor. We wish you happiness, as many joyful days as possible in your life,and don't forget to press the buttons and

First impressions are often wrong, that's a fact. But for a person who did not pass an interview for a highly paid position or failed to interest the girl of his dreams, this fact is very little consolation. Whether this is fair or not, the opinion that others form about a person often depends on the ability to make a first impression. That is why it is so important to know how to present yourself properly. Usually in such cases it is advised:

Think over the appearance to the smallest detail

Pay attention to personal hygiene

Act casual and smile as much as possible

All these tips are true, because a neatly dressed, well-groomed, friendly and sociable person is much more likely to win over an interlocutor than a gloomy slob, from whom you can’t get a word out. But if the secret were only in this, the problem of the first impression would cease to be relevant long ago. In fact, cleanliness, neatness and sociability only guarantee that you will not spoil the impression by their absence, but to achieve the desired effect, only these qualities will not be enough. The tips presented in this article are partly taken from the practice of professional artists. Following them will help you avoid common mistakes and never miss your one and only chance to produce. good first impression. Here are those tips.

Don't try to be better than you really are.

Be natural

Be a valuable conversationalist

Watch yourself from the side

Enjoy communication

Be natural

Often a person wants to make a good impression so badly that he starts trying and ruins everything. Effort is the enemy of naturalness. The more you try, the more noticeable it is from the outside. It is no coincidence that at the acting school, students are taught not to play anything on stage. After all, when your thoughts are occupied only with how you look, how you speak, how you carry yourself, and other similar things, you involuntarily turn off the real process of communication. It is more difficult for you to maintain a dialogue, you are tense and inattentive to the interlocutor. It is not surprising that all efforts are not only in vain, but also produce the opposite effect. The best thing to do before an important meeting is to relax. If you are able to produce the desired effect, then it is certainly not due to tension. Make preparations ahead of time if necessary, and just before the meeting, forget everything, relax, and just step forward.

Don't try to be better than you really are.

This is a useless activity. Whatever mask you try on, you won't be able to wear it forever. At some point, you will appear before the person in the true light, and then you will have to admit that at the first meeting you were not entirely honest. Of course, the first impression will be hopelessly destroyed, and the relationship will at least be overshadowed. And note that this best script. Most often, an attempt to look like someone else is striking and instantly exposed by the interlocutor, causing mistrust and hostility. In you, as in every person, there are positive traits and valuable qualities. They will be noticed and appreciated only if you remain yourself. And wouldn’t it be a shame to lose your real value in the pursuit of a short-lived image?

Enjoy communication

Remember that ubiquitous piece of advice offered by all self-presentation articles and guides: keep it casual and smile as much as possible. He has a weak side - all your smiling ease is not worth a damn if it is insincere. Hypocrisy is one of the most repulsive human traits. If you are suspected of it, it will not be easy to restore a good attitude towards yourself. It is noteworthy that sincerity cannot be portrayed even with great desire. Future actors, for example, are trained not to portray sincerity, but to provoke themselves into a real reaction, which the audience takes for a virtuoso game. There can be only one solution here: you need to really enjoy communication, show interest in the interlocutor and really have a good time. If this is not possible because you don't like society, don't force yourself. If you are by nature a closed and uncommunicative person, you should engage in self-development in order to cultivate the necessary qualities in yourself. Otherwise, an unsociable disposition can become a serious obstacle for you in life.

Watch yourself from the side

To make a positive first impression on people, you need to have a good idea of ​​how they see you. It is not uncommon for a person to be perceived differently than he expects, attributing a completely different meaning to his words or deeds. If this happens to you, then it's time to work on the external expression of internal processes. External means of expression can be:

External means of expression can be:

Often, these factors say more about you than the style of clothing, hairstyle or conversation. You can give your interlocutor a Hollywood smile, but if your posture, position of hands and notes of voice express unfriendliness, he will not believe you. The ability to see yourself through the eyes of the interlocutor, control gestures and facial expressions, keep your posture and control your voice will help bring your internal state into harmony with its external manifestations. This is another important skill of a professional artist that requires a lot of practice and the art of observation.

Be a valuable conversationalist

This advice is chronologically the last, because the meaning of the conversation affects the impression last. Before the interlocutor begins to evaluate you according to the meaning of the spoken words, it will take some time, but do not underestimate this most important factor. The relevance of topics is largely determined by the format of the meeting. For example, if on a first date you indulge in descriptions of your previous relationships, the other person may think that you miss them. If you focus too much on career achievements, you may get the impression that you are showing off. It will be unwise to start an argument, express critical remarks or “load” the interlocutor with your problems. Nobody likes negativity, get rid of it right away. Good humor, an interesting fact or story is always in place. It will be great if you find a topic that is interesting for the interlocutor and manage to develop it. The commonality of interests instantly brings them together. Be that as it may, taking care of the content and fascination of communication, you multiply your value in the eyes of the interlocutor. The team will never stop appreciating interesting people.

A self-confident person is perceived by others as friendly. If people feel comfortable and safe in your company, they are more likely to talk to you. Therefore, you need to learn how to send signals of friendliness and sociability.

The author of Making Contact, Arthur Wassmer, coined the acronym SOFTEN to help people remember how to send friend signals. Agree, it’s good to always have an easy way to deal with anxiety at hand. In this case, we are using the prefrontal cortex to manage the emotional manifestations of our more primitive and emotional brain. The method may seem simple, but it is based on the confrontation between the mind and emotions within us.

So, let's decipher the abbreviation. Let these rules help you better manage non-verbal cues.

1. Smile

There is nothing unexpected about this advice. But how long have you seen your smile in the mirror? Sometimes what looks like a smile to you, people take for a smirk or something worse. You think you're smiling, but your eyes are fixed and your mouth is funnyly twisted. Take a close look at your face when you are for real. You will notice that your entire face is lifted, especially the muscles around your eyes.

If you smile only with your mouth, like cartoon characters, it looks insincere. Practice in front of a mirror to find out what facial expressions help you look friendly and cheerful. Better yet, study a plain photograph of yourself (but not a staged selfie) to understand how others see you. You have read the emotions of other people in their faces more than once, so you will definitely cope with this task.

Sincerely smile at people when you meet, otherwise you will be remembered as gloomy and gloomy.

2. Take an open posture (Open Posture)

An open posture is a posture in which your body is turned towards the person you are communicating with. Arms and legs are not crossed, the head and body are turned to the interlocutor. Straighten your shoulders and turn your feet in his direction. Just don't stand to attention or you'll look tense. Keep yourself at ease: be open, friendly and "unarmed".

3. Lean towards the interlocutor (Forward Lean)

During a conversation, lean towards the interlocutor or move closer to him. This will express sympathy for the words of the interlocutor. (AT English language the word list, consonant with the verb listen (“listen”), means “lean over”.) With this gesture, you show that you want to better understand the point of view and feelings of the interlocutor. To end a conversation, simply take a step back or lean away from the other person. If a tall man does not bend down and does not lower his head to make it more convenient to communicate, the interlocutor feels alienation and even some contempt.

If you are that tall person, you may not notice it until someone tells you. Remember to lean towards people while talking.

4. Touch the other person (Touch)

The topic of touch will be of particular interest to men. But let's be careful. Touch people only when it seems appropriate; if in doubt, don't do it. Each culture has its own rules about when and which parts of the interlocutor's body can be touched. So treat touch wisely and study this matter carefully. For example, in America, kissing and hugging when meeting people are excluded. You can only lightly touch the other person's arm - from elbow to shoulder (but don't grab it!). You will say: “If there are so many rules, why even talk about touching?” The fact is that touch is an important non-verbal signal for effective communication.

Perhaps the most important form of physical contact in society is. Take this gesture seriously. Be sure: people remember your handshake from the first meeting. The handshake is a form of greeting and establishing contact. Take the time to learn how to shake hands properly. (Girls, I am addressing you separately. Ask someone to honestly evaluate your handshake. You will not be taken seriously if you hold out a sluggish hand, like a soft rag, and expect the other person to shake it himself.)

If you are sitting, you must stand up to shake hands. Women and men of higher social status and senior positions are usually the first to extend their hand. A woman's handshake is no different from a man's. (When shaking hands, make sure that your palm is not smeared with chicken wing fat, which you recently ate.)

When extending your hand for a handshake, direct it so that the part of your palm between your thumb and forefinger comes into contact with the same part of the interlocutor's palm. Then shake his hand. I advise you to practice with friends first.

The quality of communication depends on how you behave during the conversation. Learn to greet and introduce yourself by looking into the eyes of the interlocutor and remembering his name. And smile. So many things to consider! Now you understand why it is better to practice at home first? Observe how others behave during a conversation, put yourself in their place and play these situations in your imagination. It will bring more benefits than you can imagine. Once you succeed, it's done. Once you have learned, you will not lose this skill.

5. Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is not a fleeting glance, but it is also not a long game of staring. You study the face of the interlocutor and catch visual cues that convey the meaning of his words and his emotions. Each person's face is capable of expressing many emotions, and you can learn to "read" people by their faces. Through eye contact, you show that you are open to communication. After all, when describing a friendly person, we say that he has an “open face”.

Eye contact helps you focus on the other person, demonstrates openness and friendliness, and also communicates your responsiveness. If you usually look away, try to catch the eye of the interlocutor next time. Otherwise, you create a serious obstacle to the development of relationships.

In my office, I sometimes record conversations with clients so they can take a look at themselves. They are shocked by what they see: during a conversation, they look at the ceiling or their knees. Do you think they are aware of where their eyes are directed? They have no idea! They are focused on their thoughts, and not on the face and reactions of the interlocutor, which, of course, repels the latter. The one who cannot look people in the eye is usually the last to know about all the news, because he does not strive for mutual understanding with others. You may now realize that these words apply to you as well. Surprised? You probably need help getting rid of the habit of hiding your eyes.

The eyes may express uncertainty or indifference. But it's better not to make eye contact for too long. A long, direct gaze implies aggression and makes people feel uncomfortable. This fear is biological in nature and is inherited by us from our animal ancestors. If you are going to Rwanda to see wild gorillas, you will be advised to avoid direct eye contact, especially with males. Otherwise, they may feel threatened and attack.

In addition, eye contact is also a sign of a very close relationship. Have you ever seen ? Notice how long and attentively they look into each other's eyes and how dilated their pupils are. This is the maximum manifestation of a strong emotional connection.

How to learn to look people in the eye more often?

• During the next conversation, intentionally look the interlocutor in the eye. Of course, this will not be easy to do. Old habits resurface when you are fully engaged in a conversation. But still try. (Very creepy talking to a wall - please don't be one.)
• Try looking at the person's eyebrows or the bridge of your nose. It's almost eye contact and good start. Gradually you will get rid of lowering or looking away.

I want to warn you: if you look at the room behind the interlocutor, he will definitely perceive this as your unwillingness to communicate. He may be offended or even offended (more on how to politely end a conversation in Chapter 17). Give the person your full attention while you are talking to them. If during a conversation you are looking for someone else with your eyes, be sure to tell the interlocutor about this, even if he does not know who you are looking for. Politely say:

• "Sorry, I'm a little distracted: I'm trying to find my wife."
• “I need to talk to Martina before she leaves. I hope you don't mind if I look around from time to time."
• “If you spot the bride before me, please let me know. I want to dance with her before I leave."

I often use the large photographs that hang in my office to teach eye contact during a conversation or public speaking. I ask clients to retell a fragment of their own: while saying a phrase, he must look into the eyes of the person in the photo. Then you need to look at the next photo and say another phrase. And so on.

Practice making eye contact with the people in the photos. I agree, this method may seem strange, but it will help you become more confident in yourself. And most importantly, you will get rid of the habit of looking at one point or looking away during communication. Keep practicing until you learn: it is not enough to do the exercise once.

6. Nod

A nod is a physical response to a statement. Light nods are reassuring and encouraging: they show that you are listening to the interlocutor and understand what he is talking about. If you do not express agreement with body language in any way, the interlocutor will feel uncomfortable. You will look indifferent and arrogant, which, of course, will nullify.

Let's list six simple rules(SOFTEN formula) again:

1. smile;
2. Take an open stance;
3. Lean towards the interlocutor;
4. Touch the interlocutor;
5. Make eye contact;
6. Nod.

Many have told me that these rules have helped them realize their ability to be friendly and benevolent. They have learned to worry less about how they are perceived by others, and to carefully monitor whether they are sending friendly signals. By following these rules, you:

• control your unconscious behavior to appear friendly and sociable to others;
• manage yourself and purposefully send signals that win people over and help them trust you;
• turn them into us.

We did a great job!

How to start a conversation and attract attention? How to get to know the interlocutor better? How to influence colleagues and friends?

Everyone asks these questions. We want to be interesting and popular, but we don’t even know that people appreciate us already in the first minutes of communication. In order to pass for a good and pleasant interlocutor, you need not so much: just knowledge of elementary rules.

Play on St. oh territory

The first rule is to be natural and don't pretend. And this means that if you do not want to be at some meeting, then you do not need to go to it. Because then you have to pretend that you feel great, although it's not true.

We behave differently in different environments. For example, when having a joint lunch in a cafe, we can be cheerful, sincere, and at scientific conferences we can withdraw and just feel out of place.

This does not mean that you are a closed and boring introvert. Each person has his own places and companies in which he feels comfortable and can be himself.

The book contains an interesting list, which is called "Honey smeared." I present it to you below.

Where do you enjoy spending time with others? What do you not like to be in?

No need to force yourself to attend those events that you do not like. Try to be where you like more often. You have every chance to prove yourself and succeed.

Fire up the conversation

The author, Vanessa, tells in the book how, while waiting for a TV show, she met one of her favorite writers, Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. While she was vainly thinking of a question to start the conversation, another guest in the same room smiled at them both and asked, "Do you like soup?"

It was a great start to a conversation that turned into a lively and fun discussion. The person who asked about the soup was a cook who was preparing a cookbook about soups for publication.

Surely you know all these boring, routine questions that are asked in an attempt to start a conversation. "How are you? What do you do? Where are you from?".

It's very boring, but we stick to the same script just out of habit. We use boring phrases, because you don’t need to leave your comfort zone: it’s more reliable with them. But nothing sparkling ever happens in the comfort zone.

If you want to be remembered by the interlocutor as interesting person, ask him fresh questions that spark communicative sparks. The author of the book calls them "conversation stirrers". They bring up new ideas, bring up topics that no one else would think of, start deep discussions.

Here's a list of the best conversation starters for example. You can come up with your own.

Look for topics that will interest the interlocutor, seem fascinating to him, knock out a spark. This is much more interesting than communicating with boring and hackneyed phrases.

Be the spotlight

Being someone's "spotlight" is another way to add freshness and sincerity to the interaction. You bring out the best in the interlocutor by “highlighting” him strengths. This has nothing to do with flattery, much less flattery. Rather, you are trying to pinpoint what you think is really worth it and start a really good conversation.

There is one famous myth about the Greek sculptor Pygmalion. Pygmalion carved from ivory an ideal and very beautiful woman and fell in love with her. After praying to the goddess of love Aphrodite, his statue came to life, and he married this girl.

The myth of Pygmalion is the story of how expectations come true. In other words, great expectations bring greatness. Psychologists have discovered that such ideas are not a myth at all. This phenomenon is called the Pygmalion effect.

When some voters are told that they are more “politically active” than others (even if they are completely randomly selected), they later turn out to be 15% higher than the control group.

When hotel maids are told that they have a very difficult job that burns a lot of calories, they burn more calories.

We remember those who gave us good impressions and feelings, as well as those who, with their words, make us want to become better. You can improve your communication with others by expecting optimal results. Raise the other person's mood by listening to him, highlighting his strengths and trying to see the best that he has. If you shine a spotlight on these qualities in another person, you yourself will become the center of attention.

Look for strings

In any communication, you need to find common ground. Each such thread that connects you with the interlocutor makes you closer. The more such threads, the more socially attractive you become. Here's how you can use this theory to connect with new people.

The theory of connecting threads is the basic principle of communication of any kind. It will help you swirl into the conversation during the "cold" call, and when writing letters to a stranger, and at the first meeting. Imagine that each person has a large ball of thread in their hands. These are his thoughts, ideas and opinions. We often wish that what goes on in our head had a more structured look. But, as a rule, our thoughts are confused - especially if we have been invited to an event and we have just entered the hall. At this moment we can think about urgent matters, parking receipts, what we would like for dinner, about a handsome guy who is standing in the far corner of the hall, about a pain in his neck, about where to hang his coat - I think , do you understand what I'm talking about. We all have this bundle of thoughts.

Tie Theory is an incredibly easy way to start a conversation, and besides, you will always have a few thoughts to continue the conversation. The more common topics, that is, threads, you find, the longer your communication will last - and the more sympathy you will cause.

People: common acquaintances - The best way find similar interests. You can spice up the conversation by trying to find mutual friends.

Context: Think you have nothing in common? Remember what brought you to this meeting. Maybe you're both on LinkedIn, or you're both on a conference call. To start a conversation, you just need to know about the motives.

Interests: Shared interests are the best connecting threads: you will be able to come up with a topic that both understand, it will bring to mind many amazing stories and will be the key to a great mood.

Here are some good opening phrases.

The tie theory provides you with an endless number of topics to talk about. You will always have something to say. Just feel for the points of contact, and then unwind the ball with the help of the question "why".

In addition, from the book "The Science of Communication" you will learn:

What are hotkeys and how to use them.

How not to offend yourself

What fears prevent us from communicating with people.

And much more.

covers.

All other illustrations are taken from the book.