What does it mean to be yourself. How to be yourself. Less beautiful phrases

To be yourself means to feel comfort and harmony within yourself, to live and behave naturally, without tension. A person is not obliged to meet someone's requirements and expectations. But it is perfectly normal to be responsible at work and relaxed in the company of friends and on vacation. Self-improvement can take a person out of a comfortable state for a while, such a period, as a rule, is accompanied by the incorporation of something new into a person’s life and his consciousness. But after a certain time, such changes are accepted by a person and freely harmonize with his personality.

Very often, a person living in the past feels comfortable in the way he was before. And in this case, being yourself means using only familiar methods, not trying new things, avoiding risk. It is necessary for the human personality to go energetically towards its goal. In fact, a person is a collection of personalities that manifest themselves in turn. Here it is appropriate to talk about such concepts as the inner voice, behavior under various conditions, conscious and unconscious. It is perfectly normal when a person knows how to be different and relies on his various qualities in a given situation.

Only a sincere expression of one's emotions and feelings helps a person to feel himself. Do not be afraid to open your heart and soul, otherwise it is impossible to feel all the colors of life. Each person is unique, it is in this sense that you need to be proud of yourself and remain with your own opinion. Live your own life, not someone else's, mind your own business and realize your creative abilities. A self-sufficient person cannot be manipulated, he does everything from the heart. He gives from the abundance of love in his heart, not to take advantage of others and fill his own void.

Many wonderful things begin to happen in the life of a person who has the courage to tell the truth, be himself, and live in the present. Such a person is free from worries, excuses and other people's opinions. He has good health and strong immunity, love for himself and the people around him, he feels peace of mind and gratitude in his heart.

It is impossible to please everyone, trying to please people, a person loses himself, his personality, his charisma. This is a completely pointless exercise that leads to self-doubt. It is also impossible to find your path and your happiness by trying to be someone else. After all, every person has flaws and this is quite normal. Another thing is that it is not normal to think about them all the time. Learn to talk about your shortcomings and accept them in yourself.

Any person needs inner harmony, and mental health and emotional mood depend on it. Learn to be at peace with yourself. It happens that in order to find the necessary harmony, a person needs to change something in his life: change his job, place of residence, partner, feelings for which have long since passed. And start your life from a new page, in a positive and joyful mood.

Throughout life, people make many choices, as a result of which they shape their life path. Only one's own fears and inability to accept oneself and all one's life decisions with love prevent a person from following his essence. A person who manifests himself is able to know his own own essence and integrity in all its diversity. And the state of balance, the state of harmony within oneself, gives a person the opportunity to live with pleasure, contemplating this world, feeling peace and acceptance within himself.

Just be yourself… That “just” is long overdue to be removed from this sentence. There is nothing easy in being yourself, but it must be done, because

You can't find your happiness by trying to be someone else. (website)

Below I give 13 effective methods how to be yourself:

1. What are you trying to hide?

Find what you are ashamed of. You cannot be yourself when you are trying to hide a part of yourself from prying eyes. Be clear about what you are embarrassed about and be prepared to be open about it. Being yourself means being willing to show yourself as you are, and not as you think others will accept you. Larry King immediately spoke about his shortcomings and this made it easier for him to communicate with any interlocutor. Often he didn't even have to, but his willingness to talk about his shortcomings made him a better conversationalist and made his life a lot easier.

2. Three basic things to be proud of

Be sure to be proud of the basic things: your first name, last name and work. If your name is Diarrhea Gavnov, change your name. If you work as an incoming proctologist in a receiver of homeless people, change jobs. In cases far removed from these, be proud of yourself. Having flaws is normal, constantly thinking about them is not..

3. One day you are on horseback, another day you are under horseback and vice versa

During the rise, we want to think that this will always be the case, but then there is always a decline. When we are down, we lower our self-esteem and cannot be ourselves. We are ashamed. There is no need to be ashamed of recessions, they are part of progress, you need to be prepared for them. The position should be something like this: “Yes, today I am without a job and I have nowhere to live, but in general I am awesome and it will soon be seen.”

4. Haste

If you are in a constant hurry, you yourself may forget who you really are. Hurrying means putting your habits and thoughts in the grip of time. You can't be yourself when you're in a hurry. Stop while running, turn back and say to yourself running after you “gotcha ?!” Make stops while talking to people. Slow down the pace. The rule here is: the more you hurry, the further you run away from yourself. If you are asked a point-blank question: “You have to make a decision right now. So yes or no"? The answer should always be “no”. Without regret. This is the price of happiness.

5. Life situations

Notice in what situations you are not yourself. A clear pattern will be visible very soon. The same people, places and circumstances cause you tension and out of character behavior. Next time, give yourself permission to relax in these situations. Relaxation means returning to yourself. Learn not to tense up when you are tense.

6. Your language

Don't speak formally. Express yourself simply. Genius is not to complicate a thought, but to express it as simply as possible. To be yourself means to stop dressing your thoughts in triple layers of thick words.

7. Listen instead of talking

Change the purpose of your conversations with people from “speak up and impress” to “listen and understand.” In order not to create additional tension in yourself with the obligation to “understand”, always keep in mind the rule: Understanding does not mean agreeing.

8. Be curious

Ask questions, be interested in what you are talking about with a person. If you do not understand, be sure to ask what your interlocutor meant. Ask difficult questions. Don't feel sorry for people, you think too much about them. Difficult questions, by the way, develop your environment. They will be grateful to you for them later. Being yourself means being interested in the world.

9. Love yourself

Not in words, but in deeds. Make yourself courtesies that no one sees. Self-love should not be shown, but secret. Flowers are for show. Expensive underwear (it also applies to men, especially men) is a secret. Later, the secret will be revealed, and you will decide to always be yourself, because that is how you adore yourself.

10. Exercises to be yourself

Answer honestly - why is it difficult for you to be yourself? Because you are trying to please others! You are a prisoner of someone else's opinion. There are exercises on how to become yourself and not depend on the opinions of others. One of the most effective is to sometimes intentionally take other people out of their comfort zone. They probably won't like it. This is "weight training". Intentionally inducing negative feelings towards yourself is as far from trying to please as it can be, which means it is a powerful exercise on the path to yourself.

11. Look into the eyes

Learn to look people in the eye when you talk to them. Dogs cannot do this. On an animal level, we are programmed to obey whoever holds the gaze the longest. However, don't turn your conversations with people into a meeting between two boxers before a match. Don't avoid looking, be prepared to "watch" to the end until you've finished your thought. The escalator in the subway is a good place exercise at the beginning.

12. Start writing your blog

The more frank, the better. The first candid posts will be painful for you. You will be worried about what people think of you and you will want to fit in. There will be a temptation to hide in the middle of humanity and not stick out from there. But with each new article and with each critical comment addressed to you, the opinion of other people about yourself will worry you less and less, and louder and louder, you will hear your own voice from within. You will begin to become yourself also because you will gain tremendous knowledge of yourself while writing articles.

13. Speak in public regularly

Terrible point, 13th. And yet it is the most effective way to be yourself. I'm not saying this because I run a speaking club, the Speakerclub, every Saturday. I started the Speakerclub because I believe in it. By speaking in front of an audience constantly, you will not only improve yourself through feedback listeners from the audience, but accept yourself as you are. The next step is to teach other people to accept you for who you are. Fuss, haste, panic, all this will pass. Being yourself will become your default state, which will bring you a lot of happiness and will captivate others so irresistibly.

P.S. Read tomorrow: “5 Effective Exercises to Become Yourself”.

• 12 tips for learning to be yourself
  • Tip 4. Create and look for the meaning of life
  • Tip 5. Respect yourself
  • Tip 6. Compare yourself only to yourself
  • Tip 8. Grow
  • Tip 9. Get rid of negativity
  • Tip 10. Remember the benefits of self-irony.
  • Tip 11. Don't confuse "being yourself" with shocking
  • Tip 12. Communicate with yourself

Each of us once met a person with whom we want to be around longer: interesting, radiating powerful positive energy and giving warmth.

One of the secrets of such a person is that he has learned to be himself.

It seems that “being yourself” is the natural state of a person, but for many it takes years to find their “I”. Those who in the end can know themselves and make friends with themselves become truly happy. We will tell you about some attitudes and actions that will help speed up the process of finding yourself in the wilds of public installations and role masks.

Here are a few simple tips how to learn to be yourself.

Tip 1. Identify the person's strengths and weaknesses

In order to become yourself, you first need to “review”, find out the basic properties of your character: coolly, without haste, without embarrassment and fear.

Strengths and weaknesses of a person- two sides of the same coin. It does not happen that a person consists of only positive qualities and does not have any "cockroaches". Advantages are not a reason to turn up your nose, and disadvantages should not be discouraged.

A person who knows his true essence can competently manage his own resource and insure where there are gaps.

• Yes, I'm not handsome, but I compensate with charisma.
• I am forgetful, so I write everything down and make “reminders” in my smartphone for every little thing.
• I grab everything superficially, without delving into information, but I can quickly assess the situation in emergency cases.
• I am slowly swinging, so I need to start any business in advance.

It happens that something that for others is a property of a dubious nature can become a virtue. Someone will twist at the temple and say: “He is some kind of eccentric!” But it is non-standard thinking that helps a person to find fresh solutions in work.

In different situations, the same quality can act in different roles. For example, tall girls at school have a complex because of their height, stoop and spoil their posture. At the same time, high growth is necessary for models and basketball players.

Therefore, when conducting an audit, be calm about “shortcomings” - in certain situations they can play into the hands.

Tip 2. Don't be afraid and create a positive mood

Fear is one of the most powerful "demons" devouring from within. We lose so much because fear stops us. Can't find Good work or open a business, because we are afraid of failure. We won't call interesting person- and suddenly "send"?

If we analyze how much we do or do not do because of our fears, it turns out that they control our lives.

Successful people always take risks. They went to conquer the capital with a one-way ticket, invested money, realizing the possibility of losses, made offers, realizing that they might be refused.

To be yourself, you need to stop being afraid. What will people say? What if I'm too weird for them? What if no one accepts me for real?

In order not to succumb to fears, you need to constantly develop in yourself positive mood and try to live in a spirit of optimism. There is a good exercise for getting rid of fear. Today you are nervous and afraid for some reason. Think about whether it will matter five years from now. If these situations happened, remember how much you worried, and how well everything worked out as a result.

Tip 3: Don't Blame Yourself and Look for Reasons for Low Self-Esteem

Everyone has deeds or character traits that we are not proud of. Someone blames himself for misdeeds committed many years ago, constantly scrolling past events in his head. Guilt is destructive. There is nothing useful in it, it only takes away our mental strength, slows it down, makes us get stuck in the past and boil in negative emotions.

If we analyze causes of low self-esteem, you can see that many of them lie in a sense of guilt brought back from childhood. A child who blames himself for the divorce of his parents or other family troubles grows into an adult who considers himself the cause of all the problems around. He tries to be invisible and perform as few actions as possible: what if something happens again because of him? It's not the best path to success...

The only correct method is to accept your misdeeds and shortcomings, draw conclusions, try to correct what is possible. Help yourself realize that not everything bad that happened is your own fault. For example, victims of violence almost always look for the cause of what happened in themselves. What you can’t fix, you need to let go, forgive yourself and no longer return to this topic. Feeling guilty is like wearing a rock on your back. Why do you need it?

We recognize ourselves in creative activity. We can build our intellect, our body, our character; art or technical devices; the fate of people, teaching them what we ourselves know. The good mood of others, a flower garden near the entrance, delicious food for home - this is all creation.

We become ourselves by engaging in the process of creation, from which we experience joy. Such a person's eyes burn, he is surrounded by a halo of happiness.

We often ask ourselves what is the sense of life. One of the possible answers is to realize yourself in work. A person is largely determined by the type of his activity. When he loves what he does, it is immediately noticeable. Your work and its results are an integral part of you.

Self-respect is one of the foundations of personal self-identification. It includes self-acceptance, positive adequate self-esteem and pride in their achievements.

Many of us have come a long way. We've all made mistakes or been in bad situations. But many of them did everything to correct the consequences of their mistakes, and then they also did many good deeds. They are worthy of respect, because they managed to overcome the path of inertia and defeat themselves.

We are humans, weak and imperfect. Despite all our failures, we are worthy of respect if we continue to fight and try to become better. Even the fact that we raise children with love and diligently do our work is already worthy of respect, because there are those who spend their days in a drunken stupor under the fence.

Someone built a three-story house, someone became the mayor of the city. But they have nothing to do with us. Of course, positive examples stimulate development, but, probably, the position of mayor is not yours, because you are an artist at all?

We often look with envy at movie stars or billionaires, wishing ourselves their fate. But we forget that they worked very hard to achieve their position. They may have qualities that we do not have. They may enjoy doing things that we can't stand. And few people know what they had to sacrifice.

Everyone should focus only on themselves. If a person develops in what he is good at, then he goes his own way.

Tip 7: Accept others for who they are.

Oddly enough, this is also one of the steps of finding and accepting oneself. After all, if you do not allow your friends and acquaintances to be themselves, then how can you allow this to yourself? Seeing the diversity of human qualities and destinies, we learn to understand others and become free ourselves.

There is an opinion that a person should be the same throughout life, and many are even proud of this. As if such stability is really worthy of pride ...

But practice shows that if you wish, you can even change your own character. "I'm lazy and grumpy, and nothing can be changed" - these are just excuses.
A person must constantly be in motion, constantly strive up and forward. It's like in water - as soon as you stop moving, gravity pulls you to the bottom. Even in order to stay at the same level, you need to make some effort. And for the development of your personality you need to work tirelessly.

The good news is that development can be made a habit. Having conquered one peak, we think: “Wow, cool! I want more!" If we do not stop, constant efforts to achieve new goals will become necessary for us, we will strive for the emotional encouragement received from victories.

To become yourself, you need to create yourself, fill with knowledge, experience, impressions, skills. A person who follows the path of development approaches his harmonious "I" with every step.

Each of us has a number of qualities that bring inconvenience to both the environment and ourselves. All of them are based on one thing - uncontrolled immersion in negative emotions. It can be irritability, anger, suspicion, jealousy, greed and other "sins".

They draw on themselves a huge amount of energy and spoil relationships with loved ones. But the thing is that such qualities are not our basic properties. We catch them somewhere like a cold, and then cherish and cherish them, convincing ourselves that such a character was given by nature.

Sometimes it also happens that we don’t even realize that we have acquired an unpleasant habit of grumbling or discussing acquaintances. These things need to be found and removed. For example, you can go touchiness test or other character traits that may interfere in life.

Our soul strives for peace, harmony and good mood any time of the day. To be yourself is to be a person within whom you feel good.

In general, people are very imperfect creatures. They are characterized by inattention, disorganization, laziness, clumsiness, forgetfulness and other qualities that cause uncomfortable situations. In order not to worry, be afraid, complex, nervous and angry with yourself, you need to include a sense of humor as often as possible.

There is such a technique - to stop being afraid of a certain person or event, it is enough to present them in a comic light. For example, going “on the carpet” to the boss, imagine him in a dress with rhinestones and a hat with feathers on his head. Maybe when he sees a smiling face, he will generally forget that he wanted to scold you.

You also need to take it easy on yourself. This is what the benefits of self-irony- laughing at our shortcomings, we seem to deprive them of power over ourselves. There is such a great saying: "Slight stupidity makes a person practically invulnerable." In a difficult situation, it is best to defuse the atmosphere with a joke or a comical stunt.

Being yourself means not being like everyone else. Otherwise it will not work, because we are so different. Today it is becoming something of a mainstream: standing out from the crowd is so cool!

There are many characters who shock the public out of a desire to get more attention. They can behave strangely or dress brightly, arrange outrageous antics. "I'm so special and unique, look at me!" - he shouts with all his behavior. In fact, it turns out that behind all this masquerade there is no internal concept, worldview, life path. Just bright clothes, impudence and a desire to be seen.

But it's far from being yourself. After all, a real person can not stand out from the crowd, be modest and taciturn, but at the same time write beautiful music.

Sometimes we run so fast through life, trying to achieve other people's goals and realize dreams that are not our own, that we don't even know - what are we, the real ones? But it is not difficult at all: to sit under the night sky and feel what is happening in the soul. What do we really want? Is it good in that life situation in which we are? Is it comfortable to be alone? What gnaws and does not give rest?

There are so many questions we need to ask ourselves... Check with our inner course, our sense of the path. Look for what makes you comfortable - good friends, interesting work, a loved one nearby.

Tip 13: Rest and sometimes be stupid

Yes, to hell with it! After all, each of us is not only a workaholic and a decent family man, but also an adventure lover or a fan of playing badminton. No need to try to be perfect - you need to allow yourself little pranks, feed your inner child with ice cream, cartoons and tomfoolery with a dog.

Stupidity is not alcohol or other destructive practices. But if you want to drop everything for a while and jump through the puddles under the rain - why not? This is also you.

Being yourself is a luxury that few people can afford. Most people are bound by their beliefs, fears and conventions. Only by getting rid of this shell, you will become yourself - if not ideal, but a free and happy person.

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Please treat this article as an opinion.
I do not consider my opinion about what it means to be yourself to be the ultimate truth and, nevertheless, I have something to say about it. I hope the article will not turn out to be overly philosophical and will not tire you, Reader.

So what does it mean to be yourself?

Does it mean to be natural and effortless?

Or does it mean being special, not being afraid to be different, not trying to hide your individuality?

Or maybe it means - you don’t need to invent anything, a person does everything perfectly well anyway?

Perhaps all these assumptions only partially reflect the essence.
To be yourself means to be equal to yourself, correspond to the reality of oneself that has developed. Be who you are, and not try to be someone else. This means that you should not remake yourself, reshape. This means that what kind of person already exists, he is good.

For example, if you want to sleep, and I pretend to be cheerful and cheerful, then I do not correspond to myself at this moment. Yes, and others, most likely, will not believe in my cheerfulness, because small details in behavior, most likely, will give me away. Maybe the eyes will start to close from time to time or the voice will become sluggish.

But if I do not pretend to be cheerful and active and allow myself to be lethargic and apathetic, then they will believe me, because my external manifestations will correspond to my internal state. I will be myself, the outer will be equal to the inner.

Being yourself means accepting yourself the way you are. With their own characteristics, states, feelings, character traits, mistakes, unpleasant experiences, failures, achievements. It means to use the given; what is.

When the external manifestations of a person are equal to the internal, then he does not have to spend a lot of energy on self-control, there is no need to worry about how he moves, how he behaves, how he needs to behave further in order to correspond to the created image. And there is more energy left for activity, creativity, development.

We cease to be ourselves because of fears, anxiety, when we have to go through periods of crisis. When we get used to meeting the expectations of others, and forget about what we really like and what we really want. Or we start to consider it nonsense.

Therefore, in order to become himself, the way a person could be if not for ... (upbringing, fears, limiting beliefs, if he didn’t consider what he likes to be stupid, and so on), you need to look at yourself, listen, observe. You may notice something that you didn't notice before.

Observation must be positive, no need to scold yourself, even if you notice something unpleasant.

I want to offer you some exercises so that you can get to know yourself better.

1. List 25 activities that you enjoy. For example: eat ice cream, read an interesting book, wander through the rustling foliage in autumn, sing loudly.
2. List 10 smells that you like. For example: the smell of freshly brewed coffee, the smell of a fresh newspaper, the scent of peonies…
3. List 5 of your favorite poses (that you do most often). For example: I often stand with my arms crossed on my chest; I sit with my right leg tucked under me; I listen with my head tilted to the left...
4. List 5 of your acquaintances with whom you are most comfortable communicating. Why do you think?
5. Write a story about an animal. Your text should answer the following questions: what kind of animal is this? Where does it live and with whom? What does it like to do? What does it not like to do? What does it eat? Does he have friends? Does he have enemies? What is his cherished dream?
   After you write the text, replace the references to this animal with the pronouns “I”, “me”, “with me” and read the fairy tale. In the end, the story will be about you. Whatever we do, it always reflects our personality. Usually, when a person writes such a fairy tale, he puts into the hero those meanings, experiences and sensations that he himself lives with.

These exercises will help you look at yourself, observe yourself and become more aware. Perhaps, as a result of these exercises, you will understand or remember something about yourself, and your ideas about yourself will become more complete and clear. Good luck to you.