Mark twain letters from earth description. Letters from the earth

LETTERS FROM EARTH 1_1

The Creator sat on the Throne and thought. Behind Him stretched the boundless expanse of heaven, bathed in the splendor of light and colors, before Him the black night of Space rose like a wall. He rose to the very zenith like a majestic steep mountain, and His divine head shone in the sky like a distant sun. At His feet stood three gigantic figures, which seemed quite insignificant in contrast - they were archangels, whose heads almost reached His ankles.

When the Creator finished meditating, He said:

I thought. Behold!

He raised his hand, and a dazzling fiery stream of a million colossal suns burst out of it, which pierced the darkness and, cutting through Space, rushed to its most remote limits, becoming smaller and dimmer, until they became like diamond nail heads, flickering under the immense dome of the universe.

An hour later, the Grand Council was dissolved.

The archangels, shocked and puzzled, withdrew from under the canopy of the Throne and hurried to find a secluded place where they could talk freely. However, none of the three was in a hurry to start, although each was impatiently waiting for the other to start. They all really wanted to discuss the great event, but it was impossible to express their opinion without first knowing the point of view of the others! And so an aimless, languid conversation about trifles began, which then broke off, then began again, until, finally, the archangel Satan called for help all his courage - and he had a lot of courage - and got down to business. He said:

We know, my lords, what we have come here to talk about, so let us drop the pretense and begin. If that's the Council's opinion...

Exactly, exactly, - Gabriel and Michael exclaimed gratefully.

Great, so let's continue. We have witnessed a remarkable act - it goes without saying. As for its practical value - if it has practical value - then this question does not concern us in any way. We can think whatever we want about him, but that's all. We don't have the right to vote. I think that the Space was good in its former form, and also very useful. A cold, dark, pleasant place where one could sometimes rest from the pampering climate of heaven and its tiresome magnificence. But these are all minor things that don't matter. The innovation, the most important innovation is ... What is it, gentlemen?

In the invention and introduction of a mechanical, self-acting and self-regulating _law_ to govern these myriads of revolving and racing suns and worlds.

Exactly, said Satan. - Notice what a colossal idea! The Supreme Mind has not yet generated anything equal. The Law is the _mechanical_ Law, the exact and unchanging Law, which requires no observation, no amendments, no repairs throughout all eternity. He said that these innumerable huge bodies would permeate the wastes of Space for endless ages, rushing with unimaginable speed through gigantic orbits and yet never collide, increase or shorten their period of revolution even by a hundredth of a second in two thousand years! This is the new miracle, the greatest of all miracles, the _mechanical Law!_ And He gave it the name "NATURAL LAW" and said that it was "GOD'S LAW" - two interchangeable names for the same phenomenon.

Yes, - Michael noted, - and He also said that He would introduce the Law of Nature - the LAW OF GOD - in all His domains and make it supreme and indestructible.

Yes, - said Satan, - I heard Him say it, I did not understand anything. What are "animals", Gabriel?

How do I know? How can we know? The word is new.

_(Three centuries in heavenly time pass, equaling one hundred million years in earthly time. The Messenger Angel enters.)_

My lords, He creates animals. Wouldn't you like to go and have a look?

They went, they saw, and were filled with perplexity. The deepest bewilderment - and the Creator noticed this and said:

Ask, I will answer.

Divine! - said Satan with a deep bow. And why are they?

They are needed to experimentally establish the principles of behavior and morality. Look at them and learn.

There were thousands of them, and they were all very active. Everyone was busy, very busy - basically exterminating each other. After examining one of them through a powerful microscope, Satan said:

This big beast kills those who are weaker, O Divine.

Tiger? Well, of course. The law of his nature is ferocity. The law of his nature is the Law of God. The tiger cannot disobey him.

So, by obeying him, he does not commit any crime, O Divine?

Yes, he is not guilty of anything.

But this animal is very timid, O Divine, and accepts death without resisting.

Rabbit? Well, of course. He lacks courage. Such is the law of his nature, the Law of God. He must obey him.

So it would be unfair to demand that he act contrary to his nature and resist, O Divine?

Yes. No being can be required to act contrary to the law of his nature - contrary to the Law of God.

Satan asked questions for a long time, and then said:

The spider kills the fly and eats it. The bird kills the spider and eats it. The lynx kills the goose, and... in short, they all kill each other. Just murders everywhere you look. These creatures are innumerable, and they kill, kill, kill. They are all killers. And they are all innocent, O Divine?

They are innocent. This is the law of their nature. And the law of nature is always the Law of God. And now... look... Behold! A new creature, and also a masterpiece - _Man!_

And there were groups, crowds, millions of men, women, children.

And what will you do with them, O Divine?

I will invest in each individual in various degrees and shades all those various moral qualities, which were distributed according to one characteristic feature among all representatives of the dumb animal world - courage, cowardice, ferocity, meekness, honesty, justice, cunning, duplicity, generosity, cruelty, malice, deceit, lust, mercy, pity, disinterestedness, selfishness, tenderness, honor, love, hatred, meanness, nobility, fidelity, duplicity, truthfulness, deceit - each person will receive all these qualities, and his nature will be composed of them. In some, high beautiful features will prevail over bad ones, and such will be called " good people", bad traits will dominate in others, and they will be called " bad people"Look...behold...they are disappearing!

Where are they, O Divine?

To Earth, and they, and all their brethren, are animals.

What is the Earth?

A ball that I created two eras, an era and half an era ago. You saw him in the explosion of worlds and suns that escaped from my hand, but you paid no attention to him. Man is an experiment, and animals are another experiment. Time will tell if it was worth messing with them. The demo is over. You may leave, my lords.

Several days have passed.

They correspond to a long period of (our) time, for in heaven a day is equal to a millennium.

Satan stormily admired some of the Creator's brilliant inventions, but it was easy to see the irony in these praises. He expressed them confidentially to his reliable friends, other archangels, but some of the ordinary angels overheard him and informed Upstairs.

As a punishment, he was expelled from heaven for one day - a heavenly day. He had long been accustomed to such punishments, which the excessive glibness of his tongue now and again brought upon him. Previously, he was exiled to Space, since there were no other places for exile, and he fluttered dejectedly there in eternal night and arctic cold. However, now he decided to seek out the Earth and see how the experiment with Humanity is progressing. After some time, he wrote home - in the most private way - to the archangels Michael and Gabriel about what he saw there.

SATAN'S LETTER

This is a very strange place, extraordinary and very interesting. We don't have anything like this at home. People are all crazy, other animals are all crazy, the Earth is crazy, and Nature herself is crazy too. Man is an extremely curious curiosity. At its best, it resembles a varnished angel of the lowest category, and when it is really bad, it is something unimaginable, unpronounceable; and always, and everywhere, and in everything, he is a parody. And yet, with complete equanimity and sincerity, he calls himself "the noblest creation of God." Honestly! And it cannot be said that this idea came to his mind recently - in all ages he proclaimed it and believed in it. He believed in her, and no one in this whole tribe had ever noticed how ridiculous she was.

Also, buckle up! - he considers himself a favorite of the Creator. He believes that the Creator is proud of him, he even believes that the Creator loves him, goes crazy over him, does not sleep at night to admire him, yes, yes - to watch over him and protect him from troubles. He prays to Him and thinks He is listening. Nice, isn't it? Moreover, he stuffs his prayers with the most rude, frank flattery and believes that He purrs with pleasure, listening to such ridiculous praises. Every day he prays, asking for help, mercy and protection, and prays with hope and faith, although so far all his prayers have remained unanswered. But such a daily affront, a daily failure does not discourage him - he continues to pray as if nothing had happened. There is something almost beautiful in this perseverance. Brace yourself! He thinks he's going to heaven!

He has paid teachers who tell him about it. They also tell him about hell, eternal fiery hell, where he will go if he does not keep the "commandments". What are "commandments"? A very curious thing. In due time I will tell you about them.

LETTER TWO

"Everything I tell you about a person is the pure truth." I apologize in advance if these words are sometimes repeated in my letters; I want you to take my stories seriously, and I feel that if I were in your place and you in mine, I would need such a reminder from time to time, otherwise my credulity might be exhausted.

For everything in man seems strange to the immortal. His view of things is different from ours; his idea of ​​the relationship of phenomena is not at all like ours, and his concepts are so different from ours that, despite all our intelligence, it is unlikely that even the most gifted of us will ever be able to fully comprehend his point of view.

Here is a typical example for you: he invented a paradise for himself and did not allow it to enter the highest of all pleasures known to him, ecstasy, which his tribe (like ours) appreciates most of all - sexual intercourse.

As if a traveler who was dying in a hot desert, his savior offered everything that he dreamed of during the hours of suffering, asking him to make only one exception - and the traveler refused water!

Man's paradise is like himself: strange, interesting, amazing, absurd. Indeed, there was no place in it for anything that a person _really appreciates_. This paradise consists entirely of entertainment, which here on Earth, man does not like at all - and yet he is convinced that in paradise they will please him. Isn't it curious? Isn't it interesting? And don't think I'm exaggerating - far from it. I'll give you the facts.

Most people don't like to sing, most people can't sing, most people can't stand someone else's singing for more than two hours. Notice this.

Out of a hundred people, only about two know how to play some kind of musical instrument, and in the same hundred there are not even four who would like to learn this. Notice this as well.

Many people pray, but very few people like to do it. Only a few pray for a long time, the rest try to choose a shorter prayer.

Not all those who go to church like to go there.

For forty-nine people out of fifty, keeping the Sabbath is the dullest and most boring duty.

Of those who sit in church on Sunday, two-thirds get tired before halfway through the service, and the rest before it ends.

The most joyful moment for all of them is when the priest raises his hands in blessing. There is a small murmur of relief throughout the church, and you feel him filled with gratitude.

All nations look down on all other nations.

All nations dislike all other nations.

All white nations despise all other nations of every skin tone and oppress them whenever they can.

White do not want to marry the "black dishes" and in general in contact with them.

They do not allow them into their schools and churches.

The whole world hates the Jews and tolerates them only when they are rich.

I ask you to carefully note all these facts 1.

All people, normal and abnormal, love variety. The monotonous life quickly becomes boring to them.

Each person, to the extent of his intellectual abilities, constantly exercises his mind, and these exercises form a very essential, valuable and important part of his life. The most undeveloped man, as well as the most educated, has some ability of his own and takes real pleasure in using it, proving it and perfecting it. The street urchin, who excels at play, takes as much joy out of his talent and develops it as diligently as the sculptor, painter, musician, mathematician, and all the others. None of them could feel happy if their talent was banned.

Now you know all the facts. You know what people like and what they don't like. And so humanity invented paradise - on its own, without any help from outside. So try to guess what it looks like. I bet you won't guess in two thousand eternities! The sharpest mind known to you or me would not have thought of this in fifty million eternities. Wait, now I'll tell you everything.

1. First, I will remind you of the astonishing fact with which I began, namely, that man, although he, like immortals, naturally puts copulation above all other joys, still did not allow him into his paradise! Even the thought of intercourse excites him. When he is given the opportunity to fulfill it, he goes into a frenzy and is ready to risk life, reputation, everything - even his ridiculous paradise - just to use this opportunity and reach a wonderful climax. From youth to old age, all men and all women value intercourse above all other pleasures put together, and yet, as I said, it has no place in their paradise, it is replaced by prayer!

Yes, they value it extremely highly, and yet, like all their other so-called "bliss", it is extremely pitiful. Even at their best this act is unimaginably brief - from the point of view of an immortal, I mean. And in repeating it, a person is so limited that ... no, the immortals cannot understand this. We, who have experienced this pleasure and its supreme ecstasy without interruption and stop for centuries, will never be able to truly and with due sympathy comprehend the horrific poverty of people in everything that concerns this magnificent gift, which, when it is owned as we wield , makes all other pleasures insignificant and worthless.

2. In the human paradise _everyone sings!_ A person who did not sing on Earth sings there; a person who could not sing on Earth acquires this ability there. And this universal singing goes on constantly, continuously, not interspersed with a single minute of silence. It goes on all day long, and every day for twelve hours straight. _And no one leaves_, although on earth such a place would be empty in two hours. And only psalms are sung. No, just one psalm. The words are always the same, they number about a dozen. In this psalm there is no semblance of rhythm or at least some poetry: "Hosanna, hosanna, hosanna, the Lord God of hosts, hurrah, hurrah, hurrah, buzz, boom! .. ah-ah-ah!"

3. Everyone plays harps at the same time - all these myriads! although there would not be twenty people out of a thousand on earth who would know how to play musical instruments or would like to learn it.

Imagine this deafening hurricane of sounds - millions and millions of voices screaming at the same time, and millions and millions of harps answering them with gnashing of teeth! Tell me: isn't that awful, disgusting, ugly?

And remember: all this is done to give praise, to please, to flatter, to express your adoration! Do you want to know who, willingly, is ready to endure such a strange praise, worthy of a lunatic asylum? And who not only endures it, but also rejoices in it, enjoys it, demands it, _commands_ that praise be just like this? Freeze.

This is god. God of the human race, I mean. He sits on the Throne, surrounded by twenty-four high dignitaries, as well as other courtiers, looks at the endless square miles of his rampaging admirers, and smiles, and purrs, and nods contentedly to the north, to the east, to the south - he is ready to vouch that in the whole universe no one has yet invented a more absurd and naive spectacle.

It is easy to guess that the inventor of this paradise did not invent it on his own, but simply took as a model the court ceremonies of some tiny monarchy, lost in the backyards of the East.

All normal white people hate noise. And yet they serenely accept such a paradise - without hesitation, without thinking, without examining the issue - and even sincerely want to go there! Pious gray-haired elders devote most of their time to dreams of that happy day when they will leave the cares of earthly life and taste the bliss of this place. And at the same time, it is easy to see how unrealistic it is for them and how little they actually believe in it: it is not for nothing that they do not prepare for the great change in any way - none of them practice the harp and never sing.

As you have already seen, this extraordinary spectacle is needed to give praise - praise poured out in a psalm, praise expressed by kneeling. It replaces "church". But here, on earth, people cannot stand large doses of church services: an hour and a quarter is their limit, and even then not more than once a week. That is, on Sundays. One day out of seven, and even under such conditions they wait for him without much impatience. So, what does their paradise promise them? A church service that lasts forever, and a Sabbath day that has no end! They quickly become bored even with their local short Sabbath day, which comes only once a week, and yet they long for it to last forever; they dream about it, they talk about it, they _think_ that they think that he promises them bliss; with touching innocence they think they think they can be happy in such a paradise.

And all because they do not know how to think at all; they only think they think. In fact, they are not capable of thinking; for ten thousand people there are not even two who would have something to think about. And as for their imagination... - look at their paradise! They accept it, they approve of it, they admire it. This is enough to give you a complete picture of their mind.

4. The inventor of their paradise pours all nations into it indiscriminately. And besides, on the basis of complete equality, without elevating or belittling any of them: they must be "brothers", always stay together, pray together, strum harps together, sing hosannas - whites, blacks, and Jews , and all others: no distinction is made between them. Here on earth, all nations hate each other, and each of them hates the Jews. And yet, any pious person adores this paradise and cherishes the dream of getting into it. Absolutely sincere. And in holy ecstasy he thinks that he thinks that once he gets there, he will embrace all the earthly tribes and begin to press them unceasingly to his chest!

Man is a real miracle! I would like to know who invented it.

5. Every person on earth has his share of reason, whether it is great or small; and he is proud of her, whatever she may be. And his heart overflows with pride when he hears the names of the great thinkers of his tribe, and he loves to hear about their wondrous deeds. For he is of the same blood as them, and having glorified themselves, they glorified him. "That's what the human mind is capable of!" - he exclaims and lists the sages of all ages, remembering the immortal books that they gave to the world, the wonders of technology that they invented - all the brilliance that they gave to science and art; before them, he bares his head, as before monarchs, and sincerely pays them all the honors that his joyful heart can invent, thereby raising reason above everything that exists in his world, and recognizing him as the only and supreme ruler! And after that, he cooks a paradise in which not even a miserable shred of reason can be found.

Strange, curious, incomprehensible? And yet it is exactly as I have said, though it seems incredible. This sincere admirer of reason, who deserves to appreciate its majestic role here on earth, has invented a religion and a paradise that does not revere reason, do not praise it, do not value it a penny - in short, do not even mention its existence.

You have probably already convinced yourself that the human paradise was conceived and built according to a completely definite plan, which consists in this paradise containing to the last detail everything that is disgusting to man, and not having in itself a single thing that is pleasant to him!

And the deeper we explore the subject, the more obvious this amazing fact will become.

So remember; in the human paradise there is no place for the mind, there is no food for it. It will rot there in one year - it will rot and rot. It will rot, rot and become holy. And this is good, for only a saint can endure the joys of such an asylum for the insane.

LETTER THREE

You have already noticed that the creature called man is a real curiosity. In the past, he professed (worn out and threw away) hundreds of all kinds of religions; and now he has hundreds of different religions in stock, and every year he launches at least three new ones off the stocks. I could greatly increase these figures and still not go beyond the facts.

One of its main religions is called Christianity. Her brief overview, I think you might be interested. It is set forth in great detail in a book of two million words called the Old and New Testaments. It also has another name - "The Word of God" .. For Christians believe that every word in this book was dictated by running - the one that I have already told you about.

This book is very interesting. There are magnificent poetic passages in it; and a few clever fables; and several bloody historical chronicles; and a few useful morals; and many obscenities; and an incredible amount of lies.

This bible is composed mainly of fragments of other, more ancient bibles, which have outlived their time and crumbled to dust. Naturally, it is devoid of any originality whatsoever. Three or four of the most important and amazing events that are described in it were mentioned in previous bibles; all her best rules and regulations are also borrowed from them; only two new things appear in it: firstly, hell, and secondly, that peculiar paradise about which I have already told you.

How can we be? If we believe, as they believe, that both these monstrous places were invented by God, then we will undeservedly offend him; if we decide that these people invented them themselves, then we will undeservedly offend them. An unpleasant dilemma, to be sure, - after all, neither side has done any harm to _us_.

To put an end to this at once, let's make a choice, take the point of view of people and put all this little pleasant burden on their god - and heaven, and hell, and the bible, and everything else. Perhaps this is unfair, perhaps it is dishonest, but if you remember their paradise, remember how carefully it was filled with everything that is disgusting to a person, then it is simply impossible to believe that people themselves invented it. And when I tell you about hell, this idea will seem even more incredible to you and you will surely exclaim: no, a person could not prepare such a place for himself or for anyone else. It just can't be.

Mark Twain

LETTERS FROM EARTH

SATAN'S LETTER

LETTER TWO

LETTER THREE

LETTER FOUR

FIFTH LETTER

LETTER SIX

LETTER SEVEN

LETTER EIGHT

LETTER NINE

LETTER TENTH

LETTER ELEVEN

ADAM FAMILY ARCHIVE

ADAM'S DIARY

EVE'S DIARY

FROM ADAM'S DIARY

AFTER THE FALL

FORTY YEARS LATER

AT THE GRAVE OF EVA

EXTRACT FROM EVA'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY

EXTRACTS FROM EVE'S DIARIES INCLUDED IN HER AUTOBIOGRAPHY

A PAGE FROM EVE'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY, YEAR 920

DIARY OF METHUSAEL

FIRST PASSAGE

SECOND PASSAGE FROM THE DIARY OF METHUSESELLE

EXTRACT FROM THE ARTICLE IN THE RADICAL FOR JANUARY 916

THE WORLD IN THE YEAR 920 AFTER CREATION

FROM THE DIARY OF A LADY IN THE THIRD DEGREE OF RELATIONSHIP

EXTRACT FROM A TALK OF REGINALD SELKIRK, THE MAD PHILOSOPHER, WITH HER MAJESTY, THE ACTING HEAD OF HUMANITY

EXTRACT FROM THE LECTURE

EXTRACT FROM THE DIARY OF A MAN WITH A POSITION

EXTRACT FROM THE DIARY

TWO FRAGMENTS FROM A FORBIDDEN BOOK TITLED A LOOK AT HISTORY, OR A GENERAL OUTLINE OF HISTORY

EXTRACT FROM CREATION 920 BY SIM

RELIGIOUS COMMANDMENTS AND PRAYERS

LOWER ANIMAL

IN THE COURT OF BEASTS

THE MIND OF GOD

FRENCH AND COMANCHE

LETTER TO EARTH

MILITARY PRAYER

SOMETHING ABOUT REPENTANCE

[PRAYER FOR gingerbread]

INQUIRY BESSIE

[MR ROCKEFELLER AND THE BIBLE]

RELIGION IN THE FACE OF CRITICAL MIND

WAS THE WORLD CREATED FOR MAN?

IIPN OFFICIAL REPORT

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE

AMONG THE SPIRIT

THE CAPTAIN'S STORY

CAPTAIN STORMFIELD'S JOURNEY TO PARADISE

A. A BRIEF OUTLINE OF MORMON HISTORY

MASSACRE IN THE MOUNTAIN MEADOW

FROM "NOTE BOOKS"

(ABOUT FAITH AND GOD)

PERSONAL MEMORIES OF JEANNE D "ARC ...

CHAPTER XVIII

BIBLICAL INSTRUCTIONS AND RELIGIOUS TACTICS

UNITED LYNCING STATES

ABOUT SCENTS

IMPORTANT CORRESPONDENCE

FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE

SATAN'S GOOD WORD

SATAN'S GOOD WORD

DEAL WITH SATAN

A MYSTERIOUS STRANGER

AFTERWORD

Mark Twain

Letters from Earth

LETTERS FROM EARTH

The Creator sat on the Throne and thought. Behind Him stretched the boundless expanse of heaven, bathed in the splendor of light and colors, before Him the black night of Space rose like a wall. He rose to the very zenith like a majestic steep mountain, and His divine head shone in the sky like a distant sun. At His feet stood three gigantic figures, which seemed quite insignificant in contrast - they were archangels, whose heads almost reached His ankles.

When the Creator finished meditating, He said:

– I thought about it. Behold!

He raised his hand, and a dazzling stream of fire shot out of it - a million colossal suns that pierced the darkness and, cutting through Space, rushed to its most remote limits, becoming smaller and dimmer, until they became like diamond nail heads, glimmering under the immense dome of the universe. .

An hour later, the Grand Council was dissolved.

The archangels, shocked and puzzled, withdrew from under the canopy of the Throne and hurried to find a secluded place where they could talk freely. However, none of the three was in a hurry to start, although each was impatiently waiting for the other to start. They all really wanted to discuss the great event, but it was impossible to express their opinion without first knowing the point of view of the others! And so an aimless, languid conversation about trifles began, which either broke off or started again, until, finally, the archangel Satan called for help all his courage - and he had a lot of courage - and got down to business. He said:

“We know, my lords, what we have come here to talk about, so let us put aside pretense and begin. If that is the opinion of the Council...

“Exactly, exactly,” Gabriel and Mikhail exclaimed gratefully.

- Great, let's continue. We have witnessed a remarkable act - it goes without saying. As for its practical value - if it has practical value - then this question does not concern us in any way. We can think whatever we want about him, but that's all. We don't have the right to vote. I think that the Space was good in its former form, and also very useful. A cold, dark, pleasant place where one could sometimes rest from the pampering climate of heaven and its tiresome magnificence. But these are all minor things that don't matter. Innovation, the most important innovation is ... What is it, gentlemen?

- In the invention and introduction of a mechanical self-acting and self-regulating law designed to control the myriad of these rotating and racing suns and worlds.

“Exactly,” said Satan. – Notice what a colossal idea! The Supreme Mind has not yet generated anything equal. The Law is a mechanical Law, an exact and unchanging Law that requires no observation, no corrections, no repairs throughout all eternity. He said that these innumerable huge bodies would permeate the wastes of Space for endless ages, rushing with unimaginable speed through gigantic orbits and yet never collide, increase or shorten their period of revolution even by a hundredth of a second in two thousand years! This is the new miracle, the greatest of all miracles, the mechanical Law! And He gave it a name - "LAW OF NATURE" and said that it is "LAW OF GOD" - two interchangeable names for the same phenomenon.

- Yes, - Michael noted, - and He also said that He would introduce the Law of Nature - the LAW OF GOD - in all His domains and make it supreme and indestructible.

“Yes,” said Satan, “I heard Him say this, but I didn’t understand anything. What are "animals", Gabriel?

– How do I know? How can we know? The word is new.

(Three centuries pass in heavenly time, equal to one hundred million years in earthly time. The Messenger Angel enters.) - My lords, He creates animals. Wouldn't you like to go and have a look?

They went, they saw, and were filled with perplexity. The deepest bewilderment - and the Creator noticed this and said:

- Ask, I will answer.

- Divine! - said Satan with a deep bow. And why are they?

“They are needed to experimentally establish the principles of behavior and morality. Look at them and learn.

There were thousands of them, and they were all very active. Everyone was busy, very busy - basically exterminating each other. After examining one of them through a powerful microscope, Satan said:

“This big beast kills those who are weaker, O Divine.

- Tiger? Well, of course. The law of his nature is ferocity. The law of his nature is the Law of God. The tiger cannot disobey him.

- So, by obeying him, he does not commit any crime, O Divine?

Yes, he is not guilty of anything.

“But this little animal is very timid, O Divine One, and accepts death without co...

Mark Twain

Letters from Earth

LETTERS FROM EARTH

The Creator sat on the Throne and thought. Behind Him stretched the boundless expanse of heaven, bathed in the splendor of light and colors, before Him the black night of Space rose like a wall. He rose to the very zenith like a majestic steep mountain, and His divine head shone in the sky like a distant sun. At His feet stood three gigantic figures, which seemed quite insignificant in contrast - they were archangels, whose heads almost reached His ankles.

When the Creator finished meditating, He said:

– I thought about it. Behold!

He raised his hand, and a dazzling stream of fire shot out of it - a million colossal suns that pierced the darkness and, cutting through Space, rushed to its most remote limits, becoming smaller and dimmer, until they became like diamond nail heads, glimmering under the immense dome of the universe. .

An hour later, the Grand Council was dissolved.

The archangels, shocked and puzzled, withdrew from under the canopy of the Throne and hurried to find a secluded place where they could talk freely. However, none of the three was in a hurry to start, although each was impatiently waiting for the other to start. They all really wanted to discuss the great event, but it was impossible to express their opinion without first knowing the point of view of the others! And so an aimless, languid conversation about trifles began, which either broke off or started again, until, finally, the archangel Satan called for help all his courage - and he had a lot of courage - and got down to business. He said:

“We know, my lords, what we have come here to talk about, so let us put aside pretense and begin. If that is the opinion of the Council...

“Exactly, exactly,” Gabriel and Mikhail exclaimed gratefully.

- Great, let's continue. We have witnessed a remarkable act - it goes without saying. As for its practical value - if it has practical value - then this question does not concern us in any way. We can think whatever we want about him, but that's all. We don't have the right to vote. I think that the Space was good in its former form, and also very useful. A cold, dark, pleasant place where one could sometimes rest from the pampering climate of heaven and its tiresome magnificence. But these are all minor things that don't matter. Innovation, the most important innovation is ... What is it, gentlemen?

– In the invention and introduction of mechanical self-acting and self-adjusting law designed to control the myriad of these spinning and racing suns and worlds.

“Exactly,” said Satan. – Notice what a colossal idea! The Supreme Mind has not yet generated anything equal. Law - mechanical Law, exact and unchanging Law, which requires no observation, no amendments, no repairs throughout all eternity. He said that these innumerable huge bodies would permeate the wastes of Space for endless ages, rushing with unimaginable speed through gigantic orbits and yet never collide, increase or shorten their period of revolution even by a hundredth of a second in two thousand years! This is the new miracle, the greatest of all miracles, mechanical law! And He gave it a name - "LAW OF NATURE" and said that it is "LAW OF GOD" - two interchangeable names for the same phenomenon.

- Yes, - Michael noted, - and He also said that He would introduce the Law of Nature - the LAW OF GOD - in all His domains and make it supreme and indestructible.

“Yes,” said Satan, “I heard Him say this, but I didn’t understand anything. What are "animals", Gabriel?

– How do I know? How can we know? The word is new.

(Three centuries in heavenly time pass, equaling one hundred million years in earthly time. The Messenger Angel enters.)“My lords, He creates animals. Wouldn't you like to go and have a look?

They went, they saw, and were filled with perplexity. The deepest bewilderment - and the Creator noticed this and said:

- Ask, I will answer.

- Divine! - said Satan with a deep bow. And why are they?

“They are needed to experimentally establish the principles of behavior and morality. Look at them and learn.

There were thousands of them, and they were all very active. Everyone was busy, very busy - basically exterminating each other. After examining one of them through a powerful microscope, Satan said:

“This big beast kills those who are weaker, O Divine.

- Tiger? Well, of course. The law of his nature is ferocity. The law of his nature is the Law of God. The tiger cannot disobey him.

- So, by obeying him, he does not commit any crime, O Divine?

Yes, he is not guilty of anything.

– But this animal is very timid, O Divine, and accepts death without resistance.

- Rabbit? Well, of course. He lacks courage. Such is the law of his nature, the Law of God. He must obey him.

“So it would be unfair to demand that he act contrary to his nature and resist, O Divine?”

- Yes. No being can be required to act contrary to the law of his nature - contrary to the Law of God.

Satan asked questions for a long time, and then said:

The spider kills the fly and eats it. The bird kills the spider and eats it. The lynx kills the goose, and… in short, they all kill each other. Just murders everywhere you look. These creatures are innumerable, and they kill, kill, kill. They are all killers. And they are all innocent, O Divine?

- They are innocent. This is the law of their nature. And the law of nature is always the Law of God. And now... look... Behold! A new creature, and also a masterpiece - Human! And there were groups, crowds, millions of men, women, children.

“And what will you do with them, O Divine?”

- I will put into each individual in various degrees and shades all those diverse moral qualities that were distributed according to one characteristic feature among all representatives of the dumb animal world - courage, cowardice, ferocity, meekness, honesty, justice, cunning, duplicity, generosity, cruelty, malice, deceit, lust, mercy, pity, disinterestedness, selfishness, tenderness, honor, love, hatred, baseness, nobility, fidelity, duplicity, truthfulness, deceit - each person will receive all these qualities, and his nature will be made up of them. . In some, high beautiful features will prevail over bad ones, and such will be called "good people", in others, bad features will dominate, and they will be called "bad people." Look... behold... they are disappearing!

– Where are they, O Divine?

- To Earth, and they, and all their brethren - animals.

– What is the Earth?

- A ball that I created two eras, an era and - half an era ago. You saw him in the explosion of worlds and suns that escaped from my hand, but you paid no attention to him. Man is an experiment, and animals are another experiment. Time will tell if it was worth messing with them. The demo is over. You may leave, my lords.

Several days have passed.

They correspond to a long period of (our) time, for in heaven a day is equal to a millennium.

Satan stormily admired some of the Creator's brilliant inventions, but it was easy to see the irony in these praises. He expressed them confidentially to his reliable friends, other archangels, but some of the ordinary angels overheard him and informed Upstairs.

As a punishment, he was sent out of heaven for one day - a heavenly day. He had long been accustomed to such punishments, which the excessive glibness of his tongue now and again brought upon him. Previously, he was exiled to Space, since there were no other places for exile, and he fluttered dejectedly there in eternal night and arctic cold. However, now he decided to seek out the Earth and see how the experiment with Humanity is progressing. After some time, he wrote home - in the most private way - to the archangels Michael and Gabriel about what he saw there.

The Creator sat on the Throne and thought. Behind Him stretched the boundless expanse of heaven, bathed in the splendor of light and colors, before Him the black night of Space rose like a wall. He rose to the very zenith like a majestic steep mountain, and His divine head shone in the sky like a distant sun. At His feet stood three gigantic figures, which seemed quite insignificant in contrast - they were archangels, whose heads almost reached His ankles.

When the Creator finished meditating, He said:

– I thought about it. Behold!

He raised his hand, and a dazzling stream of fire shot out of it - a million colossal suns that pierced the darkness and, cutting through Space, rushed to its most remote limits, becoming smaller and dimmer, until they became like diamond nail heads, glimmering under the immense dome of the universe. .

An hour later, the Grand Council was dissolved.

The archangels, shocked and puzzled, withdrew from under the canopy of the Throne and hurried to find a secluded place where they could talk freely. However, none of the three was in a hurry to start, although each was impatiently waiting for the other to start. They all really wanted to discuss the great event, but it was impossible to express their opinion without first knowing the point of view of the others! And so an aimless, languid conversation about trifles began, which either broke off or started again, until, finally, the archangel Satan called for help all his courage - and he had a lot of courage - and got down to business. He said:

“We know, my lords, what we have come here to talk about, so let us put aside pretense and begin. If that is the opinion of the Council...

“Exactly, exactly,” Gabriel and Mikhail exclaimed gratefully.

- Great, let's continue. We have witnessed a remarkable act - it goes without saying. As for its practical value - if it has practical value - then this question does not concern us in any way. We can think whatever we want about him, but that's all. We don't have the right to vote. I think that the Space was good in its former form, and also very useful. A cold, dark, pleasant place where one could sometimes rest from the pampering climate of heaven and its tiresome magnificence. But these are all minor things that don't matter. Innovation, the most important innovation is ... What is it, gentlemen?

– In the invention and introduction of mechanical self-acting and self-adjusting law designed to control the myriad of these spinning and racing suns and worlds.

“Exactly,” said Satan. – Notice what a colossal idea! The Supreme Mind has not yet generated anything equal. Law - mechanical Law, exact and unchanging Law, which requires no observation, no amendments, no repairs throughout all eternity. He said that these innumerable huge bodies would permeate the wastes of Space for endless ages, rushing with unimaginable speed through gigantic orbits and yet never collide, increase or shorten their period of revolution even by a hundredth of a second in two thousand years! This is the new miracle, the greatest of all miracles, mechanical law! And He gave it a name - "LAW OF NATURE" and said that it is "LAW OF GOD" - two interchangeable names for the same phenomenon.

- Yes, - Michael noted, - and He also said that He would introduce the Law of Nature - the LAW OF GOD - in all His domains and make it supreme and indestructible.

“Yes,” said Satan, “I heard Him say this, but I didn’t understand anything. What are "animals", Gabriel?

– How do I know? How can we know? The word is new.

(Three centuries in heavenly time pass, equaling one hundred million years in earthly time. The Messenger Angel enters.)“My lords, He creates animals. Wouldn't you like to go and have a look?

They went, they saw, and were filled with perplexity. The deepest bewilderment - and the Creator noticed this and said:

- Ask, I will answer.

- Divine! - said Satan with a deep bow. And why are they?

“They are needed to experimentally establish the principles of behavior and morality. Look at them and learn.

There were thousands of them, and they were all very active. Everyone was busy, very busy - basically exterminating each other. After examining one of them through a powerful microscope, Satan said:

“This big beast kills those who are weaker, O Divine.

- Tiger? Well, of course. The law of his nature is ferocity. The law of his nature is the Law of God. The tiger cannot disobey him.

- So, by obeying him, he does not commit any crime, O Divine?

Yes, he is not guilty of anything.

– But this animal is very timid, O Divine, and accepts death without resistance.

- Rabbit? Well, of course. He lacks courage. Such is the law of his nature, the Law of God. He must obey him.

“So it would be unfair to demand that he act contrary to his nature and resist, O Divine?”

- Yes. No being can be required to act contrary to the law of his nature - contrary to the Law of God.

Satan asked questions for a long time, and then said:

The spider kills the fly and eats it. The bird kills the spider and eats it. The lynx kills the goose, and… in short, they all kill each other. Just murders everywhere you look. These creatures are innumerable, and they kill, kill, kill. They are all killers. And they are all innocent, O Divine?

- They are innocent. This is the law of their nature. And the law of nature is always the Law of God. And now... look... Behold! A new creature, and also a masterpiece - Human! And there were groups, crowds, millions of men, women, children.

“And what will you do with them, O Divine?”

- I will put into each individual in various degrees and shades all those diverse moral qualities that were distributed according to one characteristic feature among all representatives of the dumb animal world - courage, cowardice, ferocity, meekness, honesty, justice, cunning, duplicity, generosity, cruelty, malice, deceit, lust, mercy, pity, disinterestedness, selfishness, tenderness, honor, love, hatred, baseness, nobility, fidelity, duplicity, truthfulness, deceit - each person will receive all these qualities, and his nature will be made up of them. . In some, high beautiful features will prevail over bad ones, and such will be called "good people", in others, bad features will dominate, and they will be called "bad people." Look... behold... they are disappearing!

– Where are they, O Divine?

- To Earth, and they, and all their brethren - animals.

– What is the Earth?

- A ball that I created two eras, an era and - half an era ago. You saw him in the explosion of worlds and suns that escaped from my hand, but you paid no attention to him. Man is an experiment, and animals are another experiment. Time will tell if it was worth messing with them. The demo is over. You may leave, my lords.

Several days have passed.

They correspond to a long period of (our) time, for in heaven a day is equal to a millennium.

Satan stormily admired some of the Creator's brilliant inventions, but it was easy to see the irony in these praises. He expressed them confidentially to his reliable friends, other archangels, but some of the ordinary angels overheard him and informed Upstairs.

As a punishment, he was sent out of heaven for one day - a heavenly day. He had long been accustomed to such punishments, which the excessive glibness of his tongue now and again brought upon him. Previously, he was exiled to Space, since there were no other places for exile, and he fluttered dejectedly there in eternal night and arctic cold. However, now he decided to seek out the Earth and see how the experiment with Humanity is progressing. After some time, he wrote home - in the most private way - to the archangels Michael and Gabriel about what he saw there.

Mark Twain

Letters from Earth

LETTERS FROM EARTH

The Creator sat on the Throne and thought. Behind Him stretched the boundless expanse of heaven, bathed in the splendor of light and colors, before Him the black night of Space rose like a wall. He rose to the very zenith like a majestic steep mountain, and His divine head shone in the sky like a distant sun. At His feet stood three gigantic figures, which seemed quite insignificant in contrast - they were archangels, whose heads almost reached His ankles.

When the Creator finished meditating, He said:

– I thought about it. Behold!

He raised his hand, and a dazzling stream of fire shot out of it - a million colossal suns that pierced the darkness and, cutting through Space, rushed to its most remote limits, becoming smaller and dimmer, until they became like diamond nail heads, glimmering under the immense dome of the universe. .

An hour later, the Grand Council was dissolved.

The archangels, shocked and puzzled, withdrew from under the canopy of the Throne and hurried to find a secluded place where they could talk freely. However, none of the three was in a hurry to start, although each was impatiently waiting for the other to start. They all really wanted to discuss the great event, but it was impossible to express their opinion without first knowing the point of view of the others! And so an aimless, languid conversation about trifles began, which either broke off or started again, until, finally, the archangel Satan called for help all his courage - and he had a lot of courage - and got down to business. He said:

“We know, my lords, what we have come here to talk about, so let us put aside pretense and begin. If that is the opinion of the Council...

“Exactly, exactly,” Gabriel and Mikhail exclaimed gratefully.

- Great, let's continue. We have witnessed a remarkable act - it goes without saying. As for its practical value - if it has practical value - then this question does not concern us in any way. We can think whatever we want about him, but that's all. We don't have the right to vote. I think that the Space was good in its former form, and also very useful. A cold, dark, pleasant place where one could sometimes rest from the pampering climate of heaven and its tiresome magnificence. But these are all minor things that don't matter. Innovation, the most important innovation is ... What is it, gentlemen?

– In the invention and introduction of mechanical self-acting and self-adjusting law designed to control the myriad of these spinning and racing suns and worlds.

“Exactly,” said Satan. – Notice what a colossal idea! The Supreme Mind has not yet generated anything equal. Law - mechanical Law, exact and unchanging Law, which requires no observation, no amendments, no repairs throughout all eternity. He said that these innumerable huge bodies would permeate the wastes of Space for endless ages, rushing with unimaginable speed through gigantic orbits and yet never collide, increase or shorten their period of revolution even by a hundredth of a second in two thousand years! This is the new miracle, the greatest of all miracles, mechanical law! And He gave it a name - "LAW OF NATURE" and said that it is "LAW OF GOD" - two interchangeable names for the same phenomenon.

- Yes, - Michael noted, - and He also said that He would introduce the Law of Nature - the LAW OF GOD - in all His domains and make it supreme and indestructible.

“Yes,” said Satan, “I heard Him say this, but I didn’t understand anything. What are "animals", Gabriel?

– How do I know? How can we know? The word is new.

(Three centuries in heavenly time pass, equaling one hundred million years in earthly time. The Messenger Angel enters.)“My lords, He creates animals. Wouldn't you like to go and have a look?

They went, they saw, and were filled with perplexity. The deepest bewilderment - and the Creator noticed this and said:

- Ask, I will answer.

- Divine! - said Satan with a deep bow. And why are they?

“They are needed to experimentally establish the principles of behavior and morality. Look at them and learn.

There were thousands of them, and they were all very active. Everyone was busy, very busy - basically exterminating each other. After examining one of them through a powerful microscope, Satan said:

“This big beast kills those who are weaker, O Divine.

- Tiger? Well, of course. The law of his nature is ferocity. The law of his nature is the Law of God. The tiger cannot disobey him.

- So, by obeying him, he does not commit any crime, O Divine?

Yes, he is not guilty of anything.

– But this animal is very timid, O Divine, and accepts death without resistance.

- Rabbit? Well, of course. He lacks courage. Such is the law of his nature, the Law of God. He must obey him.

“So it would be unfair to demand that he act contrary to his nature and resist, O Divine?”

- Yes. No being can be required to act contrary to the law of his nature - contrary to the Law of God.

Satan asked questions for a long time, and then said:

The spider kills the fly and eats it. The bird kills the spider and eats it. The lynx kills the goose, and… in short, they all kill each other. Just murders everywhere you look. These creatures are innumerable, and they kill, kill, kill. They are all killers. And they are all innocent, O Divine?

- They are innocent. This is the law of their nature. And the law of nature is always the Law of God. And now... look... Behold! A new creature, and also a masterpiece - Human! And there were groups, crowds, millions of men, women, children.

“And what will you do with them, O Divine?”

- I will put into each individual in various degrees and shades all those diverse moral qualities that were distributed according to one characteristic feature among all representatives of the dumb animal world - courage, cowardice, ferocity, meekness, honesty, justice, cunning, duplicity, generosity, cruelty, malice, deceit, lust, mercy, pity, disinterestedness, selfishness, tenderness, honor, love, hatred, baseness, nobility, fidelity, duplicity, truthfulness, deceit - each person will receive all these qualities, and his nature will be made up of them. . In some, high beautiful features will prevail over bad ones, and such will be called "good people", in others, bad features will dominate, and they will be called "bad people." Look... behold... they are disappearing!

– Where are they, O Divine?

- To Earth, and they, and all their brethren - animals.

– What is the Earth?

- A ball that I created two eras, an era and - half an era ago. You saw him in the explosion of worlds and suns that escaped from my hand, but you paid no attention to him. Man is an experiment, and animals are another experiment. Time will tell if it was worth messing with them. The demo is over. You may leave, my lords.

Several days have passed.

They correspond to a long period of (our) time, for in heaven a day is equal to a millennium.

Satan stormily admired some of the Creator's brilliant inventions, but it was easy to see the irony in these praises. He expressed them confidentially to his reliable friends, other archangels, but some of the ordinary angels overheard him and informed Upstairs.

As a punishment, he was sent out of heaven for one day - a heavenly day. He had long been accustomed to such punishments, which the excessive glibness of his tongue now and again brought upon him. Previously, he was exiled to Space, since there were no other places for exile, and he fluttered dejectedly there in eternal night and arctic cold. However, now he decided to seek out the Earth and see how the experiment with Humanity is progressing. After some time, he wrote home - in the most private way - to the archangels Michael and Gabriel about what he saw there.

SATAN'S LETTER

This is a very strange place, extraordinary and very interesting. We don't have anything like this at home. People are all crazy, other animals are all crazy, the Earth is crazy, and Nature herself is crazy too. Man is an extremely curious curiosity. At its best, it resembles a varnished angel of the lowest category, and when it is really bad, it is something unimaginable, unpronounceable; and always, and everywhere, and in everything, he is a parody. And yet, with complete equanimity and sincerity, he calls himself "the noblest creation of God." Honestly! And it cannot be said that this idea came to his mind recently - in all ages he proclaimed it and believed in it. He believed in her, and no one in this whole tribe had ever noticed how ridiculous she was.